Dear Past Self,
I have been meaning to speak to you for quite a while now, but I think I have let myself get entirely way too caught up in my day-to-day living. I wish I knew why, but lately the thought of you has been weighing heavy on my mind. It is almost as if every choice I make now, calls for a reflection on what decision you would have made and how different it would have been from mine.
I'm trying to convince myself that I haven't changed as much as I have, but I don't think I can sit hand in hand with denial much longer. No, I am not upset in the slightest that things have changed drastically. The truth is that I feel the best I have ever felt, I think.
I have vivid memories of situations you will encounter, people you will meet and all of your struggles and achievements, and I wish you had been more prepared for it all. If you even knew a fraction of the information that I do now, you would save yourself an entire heap of trouble, tears and wasted time.
I'm not blaming you. This is simply going through the motions of living and finding who you are supposed to be. You're doing everything right.
I have to warn you though, nothing is the same. You have an entirely new group of friends now, you cannot even think about having time to date and all of your aspirations and dreams have done a complete 180.
The good news is that you have become more comfortable with the person you have become. Self-love is now one of your largest motivations and the cruelness of others no longer stops you from doing what you love or what needs to be done. You no longer hold your tongue, swallow your pride and smile and apologize for something that is not your fault.
You have truly become strong, independent and unapologetic. You say exactly what is on your mind and tell people when they hurt you that it isn't okay. You have officially stopped hiding behind a glass case and thrown our your safety net.
Maybe, you're learning how to finally live. However, it is too early to tell.
What I really came here to say is that things are rough right now, and for whatever reason, you are so angry at the world that you cannot find yourself. You'll find exactly where you fit eventually. Puzzles are not solved in a day--they are an activity that can extend over weeks and possibly even months.
Do not push yourself when you are not ready and remember that everyone's happiness finds them when they least expect it.
You are doing great things, I promise,
Future Self.
