On Sept. 3, 2010, I lost an extremely important person in my life. After 34 short years, God decided that it was time for my Uncle Kellie to go back to Him. The moment that I found out that he had passed away was one of the most heartbreaking moments I had ever experienced. I didn’t really know how to process everything that I had been told. All I can really remember from that day is feeling like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. The last time I had heard, I was going to be visiting him that weekend because I hadn’t seen him in a couple of months. I kept thinking that I would never be able to see him again and I didn’t get the chance to tell him goodbye, so here it is.

Uncle Kellie,

Life without you has been really hard. You were always there for me when I needed you to be and you somehow always knew how to convince me that everything was going to be OK when things were tough. Every day for the past six years, all I can think about is the fact that you deserved way more than 34 years on this Earth. You should be here with me. Being able to laugh and love as big and loud as you want to. It hurts me to think that you won’t be there for a lot of milestones that my siblings and I will reach. I hate the fact that you didn’t get to see me graduate high school and attend college 15 miles away from where you lived. I can’t believe that you won’t be able to attend my wedding or my college graduation. Although there will be many things that you will miss, I can’t help but to remember and cherish every moment that we had together.

I will never forget the nights we would spend in your semi-truck watching movies and eating snacks until 2 a.m. I’ll never forget when you would come into town and check us out of school so that we could go hang out with you while you were visiting us (no matter how mad it made our mom). The countless memories that we made eating giant burgers at the park and playing games until the sun went down are only some of my favorite memories. And even though you may not physically be with us, I hope that you are looking down on us and smiling with that big cheesy grin watching us grow into the individuals you hoped we would be.

If I had known the last time I had seen you would have been the last time I would ever get to see you, I would have held onto you a little longer when you said bye. I would have told you in great detail how much I loved you and that I can’t wait until the day I get to see you again. I would have known to tell you how much you meant to me so that you would truly know how much I loved you. I always regret not constantly reminding you about how much I loved you even though I am pretty sure that you knew.

Everyone in the family is doing OK. We’ve had many crazy adventures that I think you have enjoyed and laughed about from Heaven. As for me, I’m doing just fine, but you probably already know that. I have met a wonderful man that I think you would have loved. He’s like you in many ways. He loves “Lord of the Rings,” “The Hobbit” and all things medieval. I really wish you could have met him because I think he would have been impressed by your collection. He is sweet, kindhearted and knows how to put up with me just as well as you did (which we both know is a tough job on certain days).

Your death has changed me in many ways. But I just want to thank you for being such an amazing role model for me. I strive every day to be a little more like you, and I only hope to be half of the amazing person that you were. I love you so much more than you will ever know.

With much love, Jasmine Marie