You’re a great student, top 5 percent of your class. You get straight A’s on every assignment you hand in, every paper you write is gold. You’re an athlete, or the choir star, or president of student council. More likely, you’re at least two of those, plus more. You are far above average at your school. Teachers praise you, classmates envy you. But, next year, you’ll be starting college, and you can’t wait! You’re sure you’ll excel in college, just like you did in high school. You’ll have great grades, get involved, and make tons of friends.
But once you get there, you don’t know anyone. In the first few weeks, you learn how much greater the work load is, and you end up spending most of your time studying. That leaves little time to join all those clubs you wanted to participate in. Pretty soon, you take your first test. When it’s handed back, you don’t recognize that red number at the top of the paper. Sixty-eight percent? There must have been a mistake; even on your worst days, you could still pull off an 84. Everybody used to beg you to help them with homework, wanted to be your lab partner. Now, you’re struggling to understand the material, and you’re the one asking for help. Suddenly, you’re not the perfect student any more. It seems your worst fears have come true. Are you average?
And that is the hardest part about college: accepting that you aren’t the best anymore. You spent your whole life being the big fish, but now you feel tiny. You think because you aren’t “perfect” now that you are unsuccessful. The truth is, you’re the same size that you always were; it’s the size of the fish bowl that changed.
So, you’ll have to re-evaluate. You’ve never backed down from a challenge before, and you won’t now either. The most important lesson you’ll learn is to define yourself qualitatively, not quantitatively. You can beat yourself up because your GPA doesn’t say 4.0 or because you aren’t president of everything anymore. Or you can put it in perspective. You already beat the odds in your town; you went away for college, which is more than half of your class can say. Maybe you don’t get straight A’s anymore, but B’s are good in higher level education. I’m not saying that it’s okay to blow off your work, settle for less than your best, or to sit in your dorm and do nothing. College is harder, but you have to work harder. Things aren’t going to come easy to you like they used to in high school. You won’t have time to be involved in everything like you used to either. Study harder, and study more; don’t let one bad grade let you lose hope for the entire semester (or quarter). Pick one or two activities and really dedicate yourself to them. Be involved in the things you are truly passionate about, and let go of the feeling that you have to be in control of everything. It’s okay that you aren’t “perfect” anymore, because now you are free of those reigns that bound you to your idea of perfection. Let yourself be happy, and let go of the pressure you put on yourself. You are finally free.
