Dear Damaged Friend,
Over the years, I have let you hurt me. I have let you say destructive and untrue things and diminish me. I have let you allow whatever underlying issues you have justify taking me down with you. I have allowed you to have a dark effect on my life because of the good days, and the bright moments that have been some of the best of my life. I have allowed you into the darkest parts of my soul and trusted you not to use them against me, and you have. The second I come close to being your equal or outshine you, you have to put me back in my place, only ever being allowed to be happy if you are. This is my resignation.
I want no part of this. Not anymore. I'm done being a punching bag. I'm done realizing too late that people like you are so bad for me because I'm too kind and too trusting and too easily put everyone before myself. I'm tired of mistaking the fun and distractions, as just that. You are amazing and funny and careless because it's your coping mechanism. You're hiding from your problems and the second it all goes downhill, it gets the darkest it's ever been. Every time. I'm always collateral damage. You need to recognize all of the harm you're doing.
I don't want you to only take the negative from this. I want you to know that your friendship was one of the best, when it was good, when we supported one another, and when we were honest with one another. I'm sorry that I couldn't always be a blind supporter, I didn't realize that's what you needed. If I knew that, I never would have signed up for the job. However, that doesn't make me a bad person or a bad friend, something you've always pointed out when I didn't give you the answer or response you wanted.
I'm a good person. I know that and a lot of people have had to tell me that every time you knocked me down. I used to hate myself and I had to work so hard to become who I am today, which you know and use as leverage. You hit me where it hurts because you're just like me, trying to love yourself, struggling to live. The difference is, I don't try to ruin other people's happiness or success when things get tough.
I hope that one day, you will see the damage you've caused and, for once, realize how wrong it is and feel some remorse for what you have put me and countless others through. I hope you may even apologize, but I won't hold my breath. In the end, I still wish you every success and happiness, as long as it's not at anyone else's expense ever again.
The worst part? This isn't addressed to just one person. I've allowed so many people like you to break my heart and I've always let you come back. This is my resignation. I'm free of you. Don't come back unless you're willing to fix it.
Yours truly,
Collateral Damage
