Dear Future Me,

You should only be reading this if you think you’ve fallen in love again. And if you think you’ve fallen in love again, you probably shouldn’t be reading this. Because if you’re in love, you should know. You should know that you’re in love. There are very few things in life that you get to be so sure about, but love should always be one of them. When you fall in love, when you really fall in love, you just know. It’s a sure, wonderful, and utterly perfect feeling. You don’t have to guess, or think, or wonder if it’s real. You just know.

So, if you’re really in love again, awesome. But there’re some things you need to know, or remember, rather. First of all, remember that love can end. Go into it planning for forever, and don’t let yourself be afraid to believe in a fairytale, but just remember that it may not be a happy ending. Like all great things, love will end. My hope and my prayer for you is that this is your true love and that the ending, as unfortunate as it may be, is “until death do us part.” However, that may not be the end this time. The end may be an eight-minute phone call on a Sunday or a break-up call in the chow hall bathroom while some girl barfs her guts out next to you. It may be a random, unexpected, whirlwind conversation or a clean break that was simply meant to be. It may end the way it began: in a crazy, out-of-the-blue moment. It may slowly dwindle into two people who don’t even know each other anymore. Either way it goes, I pray it doesn’t have to end this time, but I also pray that you’re strong enough to realize that every story has an ending.

I also hope you’re strong enough to realize that this love doesn’t have to define you. Loving someone is not about throwing away your whole existence to become a part of another person; loving someone is about taking both of your beings and, somehow, in some crazy unexplainable way, making them work together. Loving someone doesn’t mean you always have to do what they ask or what they want. In fact, when you’re really in love, it’s no longer a choice you have to contemplate, because working together and being partners is just what you do, without hard feelings. Be strong enough to stand up for who you are individually so that you can be strong enough to stand up for who you are as a couple. Be strong enough to walk away when you have to, and apologize when it's needed. Be strong enough to handle both of your problems when your partner can’t think straight, and hand over your problems when you’re too weak to go at them alone. Be strong enough to give, to receive, to love, and to be loved.

PLEASE DO NOT SETTLE. Since you’re apparently really in love again, don’t settle for some half-hearted jerk who is never going to be what you want or need. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve. Stop compromising on the little things. You deserve someone who is going to make you feel like a princess, whether you're dressed up or a complete mess. You deserve someone who is going to be there for you when you need them and who is going to listen and never make you feel unimportant. Find someone who can make you laugh, help you when you cry, and do everything to ensure that you feel loved, wanted, and appreciated. For the love of all things that are good in the world, LADIES, STOP BELIEVING THAT GOOD GUYS DON’T EXIST. The perfect man for you is out there somewhere. Stop settling for less than you deserve.

Remember that sometimes life hurts. Sometimes things get thrown at you that you never would have expected. Situations change, dreams change, and people change. Change is inevitable, and just like everything else, love can change too. Sometimes the two people who fell madly in love are not the same people who fall madly out of love with one another. In other cases, the two people who fell madly in love with one another are the same people who are still madly in love 50 years later. Either way, it’s important to keep in mind that the love and the person you love may not always stay the same. Part of true love is being able to love your partner through all of those stages and changes. Love may not always manifest itself in flowers and fancy dates (although those are both beautiful things that should never ever be lost). Sometimes, love is facing the really hard, scary parts of life together. Love is not always rainbows and butterflies, but love is always patient, love is kind, and it does not boast (and all those other important Bible-y things).

Most importantly, love is the greatest thing that God has allowed mankind to do through themselves, and it should be valued as such. I hope when you’re reading this, you’re able to say that you’ve found someone who makes you believe in love again, because that's one of the most miraculous things about love: it can cause you to believe in things that you once completely swore off. It can remind you of all the hurt you’ve been through, but make you okay with taking that risk again. Love has the power to take all of that pain and disappointment and make you go back to that same feeling without ever looking back. Love can make up for a lot of things; it can bind up old wounds and heal some that you did not even know you had. My hope as I’m writing this is that you’ve found someone who fulfills all those longings in your heart and that you can do the same for them. That is one of the aspects that is most often forgotten in love: love is having someone need you just as much as you need them.

I hope you’ve found somebody that has swept you off of your feet. I hope they are patient, kind, strong, and wonderful. I hope he treats you BETTER than you deserve. I hope he will dance with you in the rain, cuddle with you, watch Netflix, kill bugs in your house, lift heavy things for you, and tickle you, even when you beg him not to. I hope he absolutely adores you because he should. And I hope you feel the same way about him. I hope he makes your heart beat faster and that he’s everything you’ve ever dreamed. I hope you are both crazy about one another. But most importantly, I hope with all my heart that it’s the real thing this time.

And if it is, I hope you’re ready for the time of your life.

Love,

The you that isn’t in love yet