To the girl I once was, the girl who used to run outside in the sprinklers on warm summer afternoons until the sun was completely set, and only came back inside when her parents forced her to. To the girl who was terrified of strange creatures hiding in the dark shadows of her bedroom at night, and could not fall asleep unless the hall light was on. To the girl who's kingdom was the infinite number of dolls and stuffed animals, in which she found endless comfort and companionship from. To the girl who idolized her older sibling, and tried her best to follow in their footsteps as best as she could. To the girl who fell asleep in every long car ride, and loved cartoons more than almost anything. To the girl who loved being carried on her daddy's shoulders where she was truly on top of the world, and the girl who loved cuddling up her mom's endless bedtime stories every night.
To the girl I used to be: I miss you more than you will ever know. I miss your carelessness, your free spirit, and I miss how naive you were about the world. I miss the way everyone was kind and giving in your eyes- the way you thought no one could ever do you any harm. I miss the way you loved to play, to run, and dance, and be your free self that you loved to be. I miss the girl who did not know true sadness or true heartbreak - the girl who never experienced significant loss or hardship. I miss the girl who did not know the concept of self-hatred or what body image issues even were. I miss the girl who could fall asleep at night lost in happy thoughts and excitement for the next days adventures, never worried about the future or anything of real significance.
I miss the girl who's only possible failures were as small as losing a soccer game or falling off her bike. I miss the girl who could never see herself as a disappointment, the girl who tried her best at everything she did, and the girl who had the world at fingertips, even when did not even realize it. I miss the girl who truly believed she could be anything she wanted, and her only restrictions were her mom and dad saying no.
To the girl I once was: I hope I made you proud. I hope I became everything you ever wanted to be. I hope that if for some strange reason realities collided and we somehow met face to face, you would be in awe of who you became. I wish you could see the woman that you have become, the one who loves truly every ounce of herself. The girl I once was- you are everything in me, and everything I am today. Small pieces of you still come out from time to time, little pieces that only family members who knew you would recognize. You are still in me, I still feel you making up every part of who I am. You are the reason for who I am today- I owe you everything.
