It's common for people to feel like life is moving too fast or that things are always changing. In fact, I feel like I always hear people talking about how different their lives were a year ago. This made me start to think about what my life used to look like and how much it has changed.
My biggest question and concern turned out to be: "Is it me that's changing or just my situation?"
To my past self,
Hey buddy. I'm you from the future. I've always wanted to say that, but I don't know if you'll think it sounds as cool as I do. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, but I can't say that I miss you too much.
You were kind of a mess. Looking back, you were always focused on silly things that you though were so important but turned out to be so insignificant. You thought romantic relationships were the most important thing in your life, and you let other people define your worth a lot of the time. I certainly regret some of the choices you made, but I don't blame you. You didn't know better. There were a million lessons that I wish you could have learned back then. They would have helped you so much.
I'm so sorry about some of the things you had to go through at a rather young age, but I'm proud of you for always being strong for yourself and coming out on the other side. You definitely had some flaws, as I still do, but I'm proud to look back and know that you overcame so many obstacles. It sounds strange to say, but I'm almost happy that some of it happened to you and not someone else. You were equipped to handle almost anything, and the times you thought would break you truly helped shape you into the woman you would become—me.
For a long time, the change in your life occurred only in your surroundings like your living situation, friend group, or class schedule. I feel like it took a long time for you to actually be the part of the equation that changed. It took a while to realize, but it was important for you to actively make a change in yourself instead of simply waiting for something new to happen in your life.
I'm not saying by any means that I am the "golden girl" that you were destined to grow to become. I hope that I continue to grow and change into an even better version of us every day. I'm simply proud to look back and see how far I have come since being you.
Being able to look back at you and what you were like is so mind blowing sometimes. It hasn't hit me until recently just how different you and I are. There are parts of you that I miss. I miss your youthful ignorance from before you realized that the world could be so cruel. I miss the way you used to see only the good in everyone before you realized that what you see isn't always what you get. I hope to always possess these qualities of you if I can.
I hope that our path is a bright one, and I truly feel that it can be if we keep moving in the direction we are. We have such amazing friends and family that will help guide us along the way. I know that's something that will never change. I'll try to make you proud of me, and I hope that the future version of me will be proud of both of us someday.
I love you buddy.
XOXO,
Future you
