Throughout my life, our friendship had grown. You were there for me through the ins and outs. We had a strong connection, you and me. Yet, I have changed, and so has our friendship. I'm letting go.
As I look back, I see how you were there for me in the morning, in the afternoon, even when I go to bed late at night. You were my listener and comforter in only ways you know how.
Unlike a supportive friend, you told me I'm not strong or pretty enough or wise enough to do things. I felt as if I couldn't tell you otherwise.
But that was OK because you were my lifelong friend.
You made me hate myself to the point where I broke down in tears and was unable to move because my body was too sore from crying so much.
But that was OK because you were my lifelong friend.
You kept me up at night making me wonder whether I am good enough to get through my life. I often wondered whether the small thing that happened years ago was actually a big thing. I knew it wasn't, but I believed I needed to think that to keep our friendship afloat.
But that was OK because you were my lifelong friend.
You gave me advice about my future and told me I shouldn't do what I wanted because you didn't think I could. Around you, I thought SO hard, and sometimes my head felt as if it would explode.
But that was OK because you were my lifelong friend.
You made me so tired I couldn't breathe or didn't want to breathe. You made me change ― I acted and did things differently because of you. I became too much like you. You made me dependent on you in ways I didn't think possible. Because of my dependency on you, I became a zombie. Our friendship made me feel like everyone else was in the fast lane to their futures, while I barely took two steps without getting tired.
But that was OK because you were my lifelong friend.
Through our friendship, I have learned I can change for the better. It has taught me to listen to the good things I hear and not the bad.
Everything I once withstood, I now know they are not OK to endure. I have a voice. I am my own person, and I am strong.
I've learned it's OK to be sad every so often but not let it consume me. It is important not to overthink what had happened in the past because it's something I cannot change.
I've learned I need not worry about the future because I know I'll make it through.
It is time that we end our lifelong friendship. I am better off without you.
