Losing a loved one is never easy. I handle it a little better knowing that you're my guardian angel. I want to start by saying thank you. Thank you for being there for me throughout your time here with me and continuing to be with me in spirit. Not a day goes by that I don't feel you here with me. Whether it's when I'm driving down the road or walking on campus, I know you're with me. Sometimes, I have these moments where I feel you just pull me back and make me pause and I never quite know why until the outcome.
I remember a late night driving home from work. There were barely any drivers on the road and my light changed from green straight to red, no warning. As mad as I was while slamming on my brakes and cussing up a storm, I knew it was you when I watched a driver fly through their own red light. I remember taking the biggest breath, looking up, and saying thank you.
I can't even explain how much I miss having you here beside me. Sometimes, I just want to call you and ask you for your help. I know I can still ask, but I just want to hear your voice again. I hear it in a different way now; Sometimes I hear it in the sound of the ocean when I can't sleep and take a drive to the beach. Other times I hear it in the form of a thought in my head. I hear, Just breathe or Hold on, Kendall. No matter the situation, I hear you and always choose to listen to that voice over my own.
You've become my guiding light. You show me the way when I feel I'm lost without a map. You give me signs of right and wrong choices, in many ways. You give me crazy rain sometimes when I probably shouldn't be going out, and you give me sunshine on my days off to remind me that I need to get outside with Abe and stop being lazy inside. Some may call me crazy and say that's just coincidence, but to me, that's your doing. I wouldn't be where I am without your guidance.
With that, I hope you're proud of where I am in life. I want nothing more than to make you proud. When I graduated high school, I knew you were there watching me walk across that stage. The hardest year of my life: losing you while getting ready to start the next chapter of my life. I did it all for you. I knew I needed to continue to pursue my dreams because that's what you would've wanted to see. To this day, I do everything for you and making sure that you would approve. I hope you know that, and I hope you can see the effort I put in, even when I fail.
There's so much I want to tell you. I could tell you how I haven't gone a day without thinking about you or I could tell you how much I wish I could have one more day. But most of all, I want to tell you how lucky I am to have you as my guardian angel. You're my way of guidance, my protector, and the reason for everything I do. You've become the single most important person in my life, and that's something you always will be.
Until we meet again,
Your baby sister
