Here I am writing on a Tuesday night and it's about you, Grandma. It's been two years. September 28th you left us and I tried to tell myself you would be strong as usual and pull through, but deep in my heart, I knew you couldn't anymore. You pulled through it so many times and I was so happy I had another year with you. I motivate myself to do better every day because I think, "What would nanny say about this attitude?"
Still to this day I can remember all of the memories we made. Every day after school I would walk over to your apartment complex and we'd sit and talk about my day and how it all went. You always cooked me my favorite dinner. There wasn't a time when I was forgotten. It was always the others you looked after, and not much yourself. The days we went walking all over the city, or the times where we played bingo. My favorite was not only the trips in the taxi, but as well as the times you walked me to my dance class and bought me my milkshake before.
After the countless years of moving in and out of the hospital, It was great to see you actually smile. When you had to move out of your apartment, I couldn't imagine the feelings you were experiencing. You were stubborn as I said, and of course didn't want to move your stuff. We tried to tell you it would be okay but as nanny always says, "No no no no no." You didn't want to change it, you liked it the way it was.
Just days before you had passed, I was visiting and you hadn't made a single noise. Your eyes were shut, and you were just sleeping away. I watched you breathe so heavy and sometimes a tear would fall but I could not cry and let you see me that way. You would want me to be strong. You wanted us all to be strong. It was so hard because I had spent so long around you, I couldn't fall out of it. I know I stopped visiting as often. If I could've seen you every second and every day before you passed I would have.
So here I am...away at school, doing my own thing now, and I really wish I could tell you about it. I hope you're looking down on us and you are proud of the children and grandchildren you have raised. You made such an impact on everyone's lives. Just know I'm doing fine and I really do miss you. Me, mom, and everyone else miss you.
What a privilege it has been to have you as a grandmother. You are and always will be my number one fan and best friend,
As always, your little devil. I love you.
Emily
