Look what you did. Look at the mess you made. Guess who has to clean it up? Me! I was fine before I met both of you but lets specifically talk about you. Before I met you, I was on a path of mass destruction. I was taking no prisoners, bobbing and weaving out of traffic, and killing everything in my path (brutally). My goal was to be rich, educated (Dr.Ciara Boyd) by thirty, and have more job opportunities than Bill Gates. By forty, my fortune 500 company would be purchasing other fortune 500 companies and working towards a monopoly. Do not judge. These were my goals and I was proud of them. My resume would include skills like entrepreneurship, managerial something, and director of something. It would be very corporate geared, fancy, and full of stuff that only business people could appreciate. I was trying to be my own boss while bossing everyone around. My leadership skills were gonna be similar to a dictator. I just could not wait to be so powerful with large bank accounts, stocks, bonds and whatever else would make me wealthy. I had no time for love, marriage or kids. I thought it was a waste of my time and did not need the interference.
One horrible day, I met you. I wish I could have warned myself the dangers of you but there was a different plan out there waiting for me than the one I had planned for myself. To be honest, I knew you were trouble but did not know how much trouble you would cause. Fast forward, we date for three years. You did enough damage to me during those years that I was not prepared for a breakup. I only knew how to function in relation to you. Fast forward, again, to the breakup, graduation, and the official demise of you and me. You ruined me. I did not know how to be me without you. After we broke up and stop speaking, I was looking for everybody to do what you did and the way you did. Bad idea. The way you did things, the way we did things, was horrible. I could not help it because all I wanted was you. Not really but I wanted another monogamous relationship similar to the one you hopped in while the ink was still drying on my diploma. You ruined me. My plans after graduation changed and things did not go according to my plan. Technically, it was not your fault because I am on God’s time and plan. Although, honestly and truly, it is your fault. You caused me a lot of unneeded and unwanted stress. I would like to think I was better without you but it gets worse.
Like I have told you and many others before, I never wanted to get married and have kids. After, we went our separate ways and I started to live my life, for some odd and corny reason all I wanted was love. I am so pissed at you for this. You warmed by damn heart. I was cold, heartless, and happy before I met you. I still possess some of those characteristics but they are not the same and do not have the same effect on me. At this moment in time, I would be willing to give up all my dreams if it meant to find that one thing that I thought I had with you. Love.
