Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

Thank you for being the worst thing that has ever happened to me. The bottom line is that you were abusive. For most of my time in high school, you abused me mentally, emotionally, and at times physically.

You took every bit of self-worth, self-love, confidence, independence, and stability that I had and threw it in the trash. You convinced me that without you I would accomplish nothing, that I was nothing, and that I was undeserving of love. The worst part of it all was that I believed you.

But despite all of this I thank you. Because on the day I left I built walls so high that no one could get to and locked myself in. While I was taking my time to heal I realized that I was wasting my time hating you. I was wasting my time feeling sorry for myself. So, I tore down my walls and placed a welcome sign on my heart.

I realized that I had a platform through which to help others. I began sharing my stories and to my complete surprise others began sharing theirs with me. Before I knew it, I had created a group of people who were healing because I spoke out.

So, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to do the one thing I have wanted to do my entire life, which is help people. Thank you for making my relationships with those around me stronger. Thank you for making me appreciate someone who is treating me the way I deserve and want to be treated. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to make a difference.

I no longer have the room in my heart to hate you. Feel free to sit high in your tower built on lies, hatred, self-loathing, and fear. I am building a tower of my own, but this one will be built on trust, love, friendship, and kindness. And, while it may not have the size that yours does, it will have more strength than you could ever imagine.

At the end of the day, I hope you change. I hope you grow up and realize that you have hurt people. I hope that one day you heal whatever is causing you pain. And as for me? I will continue to spread love and joy. I will not be afraid to show my scars and bare my demons to the world. I do not fear you anymore. You no longer have a hold on me. I am no longer defined by you or your actions. I am defined by me and I get to choose what that means.

Now, this is not an invitation for you to come crawling back in my life because, unfortunately, there is no longer any room for you here. You have been replaced by love and kindness. But more importantly, I don’t need you anymore. You say that you loved me but nothing that happened between us was ever love. Infatuation maybe, but not love. This is your chance to grow up and become a better person, and for your sake, I hope you take it.

Sincerely,

The girl you thought you broke.