They say there are seven stages of grief: shock, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and lastly acceptance. Everyone goes through these stages differently. Before, when I heard about these stages, I never believed in them. "How could you deny that someone is gone?" I asked myself. However, I sit here today just confused and heartbroken that I can't get in my car and come see you. It doesn't feel real.

Dear Grandma Rose, thank you for raising me to be the person I am today. You are the reason why I am so strong, wise, well-mannered, generous and freaking hilarious. You always had the best jokes and made the funniest faces.* You told me stories about how you would come to get me out of my crib and I'd run to the other end. So you'd walk away, and I'd come running back and stick out my hands so you'd come back for me. I wish I could do the same in this situation.

Our daily routine would start with us eating oatmeal and wheat toast (your favorite) and watching "Three's Company" or "The Golden Girls." Then after lunch, we'd take our afternoon nap, and you'd squeeze my hand so tight so I couldn't escape. When you finally fell asleep, and your grasp loosened I tried to slip out and well, we both know how that went. Then Mom and Dad came home, and we would get our usual dinner. Chicken Selects, fries, sweet and sour sauce, two apple pies, and a diet coke. I'll remember that forever.

Thank you for always breaking the rules and having fun with me. We'd take our bi-weekly trip to BJ's and you would always let me ride on the back of your motorized cart. I'd hold onto your shoulders and point to every isle we needed to go to, and when I got off you'd drive away and I'd chase you and we'd laugh so hard.

You were never afraid to tell me that my outfit didn't match or that my hair needed a brush. You're the reason I'm so fashionable now. You took Zach and I to Sears all the time to get clothes for school. Even though we had to wear a uniform, you made sure that I always had the coolest light up shoes and not just the pink dress with ruffles, but the blue one too. You spoiled us rotten, but we didn't turn out that bad, right?

Thank you for always being so easy to talk to. When I was in trouble, scared, sad, or happy, I'd always come to you to talk. Thank you for being so cool, when Mom and Dad said no, you always said yes. Grandmas are the best.

Everyone always said that you'd outlive us all. You're the strongest woman in this family and each and every time you were sick, you'd bounce back stronger than ever. This time was different, Grandaddy missed you too much and decided he couldn't wait for you any longer. You always said that you saw him, and I know that day you did. You were just staring at (to Mom and I, the wall) smiling, and Mom said that you saw him. I know you did. I'm glad I had the chance to kiss your forehead one last time, and I know you know it was me. I hope you know how much I love you.

I know you and Grandaddy are probably catching up, tell him I said hi and that I'm excited to meet him one day. I love you to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond Grandma. Thank you for 19 years of some of the happiest memories. Don't get too crazy up there...........without me.

Love, Paige