Dear Me,

The end of 2016 was plagued with countless failed attempts at finding a relationship with people engrossed in “hook-up” culture. Even with my progressive approach to simply ask the person what their expectations were and defining mine, I still managed to get played over and over again.

Trust me, I have overanalyzed any possible explanation for my trouble in dating. I have blamed myself. I have spent days in my bed wondering “What’s wrong with me?” or “Am I so repulsive that no one wants to truly claim me as their partner?” I have allowed these disgusting and insecure thoughts to penetrate my thinking every day.

And I am tired of feeling bad for myself.

I am tired of blaming myself for the behavior of people that took advantage of my generosity and giving heart. I am tired of feeling like the other person has the upper hand in my emotional and mental stability and health. I am tired of giving my all to a person that only wants to scrape the surface.

But, frustratingly enough, it's hard to be okay in my singleness when other people seem to effortlessly fall into relationship after relationship. It’s hard to rationalize my lack of dating success, but I think that’s no longer my job to do. I need to live my life for myself and focus on getting my shit together.

Diving head first into bettering myself will relieve some of the anxiety of being perpetually single. My future is bright and full of life and success and that needs to be my focus.

So, let's get busy.

Love,

A Much Happier Future Me