Well, here we are. A few short months ago, I never would have imagined that I would be writing a letter like this, but things obviously change in the blink of an eye.
I have personally dealt with cheaters, as have so many other people, unfortunately. To my cheating ex friend, this letter is to you, but it is also to all of the cheaters out there, and anyone else who has had to deal with what you have done. I hope you all understand the implications of your actions.
First of all, if you find a great guy or girl, why on earth would you do something like that to them? If you really love somebody, you would never dare cheat on them. You love them, respect them, and treat them how they deserve to be treated (hint, that doesn’t involve betrayal or lies).
Second, cheating on your significant other doesn’t just hurt them. If this person is a part of your group of friends, and you choose someone over them, you’re choosing someone over all of your friends, too. And while having someone choose the person that they are cheating with over you, as a friend, hurts, it hurts even more knowing that they are willing to throw so many great friendships with wonderful memories away. If you choose this new person, you are saying that your friends, with whom you’ve had amazing times and who have tried to influence you to make better choices, are not worth your time.
If you don’t think we’re worth your time, there’s not much that we can do. Everyone’s heard the saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” It applies here as well. You can try with all your might to help someone make good choices, but if they are completely dead set on choosing something (slash someone) else, there’s really nothing you can do to stop them.
Finally, to the other man/other woman/other person... If you were the person that someone cheated on someone else with, and didn’t know about it while it was going on, I am so sorry. I hope that, once you found out, you were brave enough to break your ties with the person that you thought was really great. Although you were proven wrong, not everyone is like that. Hopefully you and the person that had been cheated on can make peace, and know that neither one of you was at fault.
On the other hand, if you did know that you were being used to cheat on someone, shame on you. If, after the big and inevitably nasty breakup, you stay with the cheater, then that’s just sad. I don’t want to wish ill for anyone, but I just can’t see how anything good can come from cheating. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and settling with someone who is willing to do that much damage to someone else is just plain wrong.
To give you some parting thoughts ... To those who have been cheated on, you’re going to be okay. You deserve so much better, and in due time you will get what you deserve. To those who have cheated on a loving and loyal person, you deserve to know the kind of pain you have put your loved ones through. However, even though you may not deserve much, they wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone because they are better than that.
If you are ever with someone and you think you’re unhappy in your relationship, just do everyone a favor and just leave. Don’t make things worse than they need to be, and I promise everyone’s lives will be so much easier. Using a little bit of common sense and rationality can really come in and save the day.
