To the boy who wanted more,
I never thought that this was a letter I would have to write. You always said that you would never do anything to hurt me. You always said how much you feared losing me. What I don’t understand is why you couldn’t be honest with me. Instead of telling me you didn’t want me anymore, you could have been honest. We could have handled the situation like adults.
But, you see, you aren’t an adult. You’re a coward. I obviously wasn’t good enough to you, or I didn’t meet your standards, because when you were intoxicated I was easily replaceable by another. That’s the difference between you and me: no matter where I was or what I was doing, you were on my mind. Although I had many guys I could have gone off with, I stayed true to you.
You’ve never been on my end of this, so I don’t expect you to understand how it feels, but it hurts. Knowing that while I was at home being faithful and thinking of you, you were off with some other girl. Some girl who could satisfy you for the 10 minutes that I was away. Were you that desperate to find someone to sleep with? Because that is just pathetic. Was I really not enough for you? I gave you my whole heart and you acted as if I didn’t exist. Can you imagine how that felt? Of course not, because you don’t seem to have real feelings. I would have walked to the ends of the earth to help you. I thought you’d do the same for me. Or at least respect the feelings I had for you. No matter how much judgement I got for loving you, my feelings never swayed.
I guess your feelings weren’t as staid as mine. I should have known that something was up when all of sudden you “didn’t want a relationship anymore.” Things like that don’t just happen, and I asked you why. You couldn’t be honest with me, even after cheating on me. I deserved the truth. I know you thought hiding it was sparing me my feelings, but you were wrong.
You were the one who fixed my heart, healed my scars and finally made me believe in love again. Now you’re the boy who broke my heart again and opened old wounds. You’re another heartbreak to add to my list and another reason why I find it hard to believe in true love. Above it all, I know you are, or at least were, a decent person, but cheating and lying has stripped you of that for now. In order to ever gain the respect that you lost from your friends, family and me, you'll have to turn your life around for real this time. Or, if it makes you happier continue living your life in a drunken haze, I couldn't care less.
Sincerely,
The girl who was a fool
