By Alexis Napoli and Elizabeth Stefanic
This article is dedicated to the Manhattanville College Squad: Lizzy, Alexis, BB, Bree, Daniella, Steph, and Kristin, for their tight bond and for always having each other’s backs.
Dear future boyfriends of our best friends,
Welcome to the family! Having a core group of friends is a blessing, one we are very thankful to have. This squad, crew, pack, dysfunctional clan, or whatever we decide to call ourselves this week, has grown from being complete strangers to being a close-knit family. Each person has traits that make them protective like parents, foolish like siblings, loving like aunts and uncles, and wise like elders. Since best friends are the family members we get to choose, I can guarantee you that nothing will tear us apart, no matter the distance between one another, petty disagreements, or a boy.
As a unit, we support each individual and help our struggling sister flourish during her darkest days. Pushing her to reach for the stars is our job and so is picking her up if she falls. Making sure our best friend is happy is our priority and we will do anything to do so. As a whole, we have learned to laugh at our faults until mascara stained tears stream down our faces which then leads to us laughing about how weird we look with our raccoon eyes. By dating one of us, you will be joining this unique and diverse family we built. We are welcoming, but we want you to know exactly where we stand.
If our girl likes you, we will try our best to like you. If you make our friend happy and treat her right, we will like you. All of us like seeing our friend smile. Her happiness is a priority and she deserves nothing but the best.
If you disrespect our “sister from another mister”, make her feel inferior, tell her what clothes she can and cannot wear, belittle her and make her feel inferior with your words, and at any point make her unhappy, we will not tolerate it. If you do anything to hurt her, I promise you, it won't turn out in your favor, so watch your back.
This squad will make an effort for our friend to be your friend and we want you to make an effort by getting to know us. Please do not try to drive a wedge in our friendship. It doesn’t matter if you were in her life before us because we are her happily ever after. Do not complain when we talk about old times or the reasoning behind a certain joke. We tend to tell the same stories repeatedly, so try your hardest not to be annoyed. We know you've heard them five times, but we've heard them a million more and every time we reminisce, we will burst out laughing like hyenas. If we've told the story more than once, chances are it's a pretty great story.
Ovaries before brovaries is our motto. We will not take away your time with her and as long as you don’t take away her time with us. We will have plenty of opportunities for group outings and parties, we just ask that our time with her is treated as special as your time with her. We won't crash your date if you don't crash our girl’s night. The last thing we want is a custody battle.
We will joke about how much we love her more than you. When she posts a picture with you and captions "with bae", we will comment "umm I'm not in this picture so..." If you take this too seriously, we will turn it into a game, one we will win. Just be open to our humor and you will survive this wild ride with us.
We're not asking or demanding the unthinkable. We are protective of our friend and we know what she deserves. Please treat her well. Give your all to our beautiful best friend and sister because she is amazing inside and out. If we would be lost without her, I can guarantee you’d feel the same.
All Our Love,
The protective friends
