Deep down, I knew. I saw the signs and even calculated the steep likelihood that you would be the deceptive type. The one my mama warned me about. That is how you are wired, inevitably.
Sincerely Not Yours.
Never did I see it coming -- until it did. As unassuming as an evening moon in the thick haze of night, I discovered my boyfriend had been living a whole new love life with another woman for three months. This is my letter to him the day after his bewildered alter ego unraveled one evening. It was folded neatly into a small black gift box with a tidy black bow, sealed with a lipstick signature kiss in the hope that he would embrace a love letter of forgiveness. Instead, it reads like this:
Your core being. "The Partier" and "The Woman Lover", taking in the moment. You live those titles to the fullest, not caring how many women play blindly behind the scenes. You do not know how to fight for something because you have a dozen decoys off in the background. This letter will not jar you in the slightest because you've played this drama hundreds of times - and you remain a repeat offender without remorse.
I was deeply in love. Your power over me was simply that you were extremely good at playing the field - it gives you a delusional high. I turned my head the other way. I denied it all! I opened my heart instead, leaving myself vulnerable to falling so deeply in love - but it was all destined to fall apart. It is not a matter of getting over me the next day. You're already over me. And for that, I am broken-hearted that I was so gullible to deceit.
But the good news? I have a sixth sense and a spirited light that has guided me to this ending. Your recent indifference to me started 10 days or so ago, has allowed me to embrace what you are NOT:
- You are not "my forever"
- You are not my fighter
- You are not kind to animals
- You have no friends
What you are is lazy. All play, no work. You poor thing. Here are a few ironies I've observed: 1) you would rather drive to the post office indefinitely than to fix your mailbox, 2) you are a clean and well-dressed man that lives in a dump, and 3) you are a veteran HVAC technician that lives with no central air for the last 2 decades. You led me to believe you would do anything for "us" as long as we were together - but you never met me halfway or found the time to plan accordingly.
You do not want to "work" at a love that was so true on my part because you are the exact antithesis. Your resistance to my so-called "projects" was a point of contention with "us" and ultimately pushed you away. Instead of seeing them as fun "together time", you saw those core traits as exhaustingly annoying. To this day, I still do not understand the reluctance.
Included in this letter is a package. I had two made for us and was planning to give one to you on our upcoming anniversary. Although not my original intention, I find it ironically appropriate - a DOG TAG for a lying dog who is still lost in a superficial playbook of lies and deceit.
You are not who I thought you were. You are only what I believed you were. Now that I can step away from the situation, I know it is in my best interest for the long term. You are not my forever - only a figment of my imagination. I am stronger now, and I will not fight for your love. It is over.
Kiss off, Asshole.
Sincerely not yours,