Dear friend,

I wanted to stop for a moment and write down what I have on my heart for you. I just want to let you know that I know where you are in your life. I also want to tell you that I understand completely how you feel, where you're coming from, and that it feels as though all hope as lost and that nothing matters any more and that the people around you don't understand and don't care that you're silently suffering. How do I know this you ask? I know it because I've been there. I've been in the exact same place in my life that you now find yourself in. There was once a time in my life (not too long ago, actually) that I was so depressed that I didn't want to leave my bed. I felt like a useless waste of space. I felt as if I was a hindrance and burden to literally everyone in my life. I felt that my roommates secretly hated me because my end of the chores were slacking in a major way and had been for months. I was overwhelmed by constant sadness and a feeling of rejection and the pile of school work that I just let pile over my head while I was refusing to acknowledge reality because the anxiety of having things to do and decisions to make was far to intimidating. I had to move home and get help because my suicidal thoughts were looming overhead, threatening to drown and consume me. I got to the point where I believed that everyone's life would be so much better if I simply just ceased to exist.

I was wrong.

There are some things you need to realize:

You are loved. There are people in your life that would never be the same if you were gone. They would blame themselves for the rest of their lives if something happened to you, and that isn't fair. They wouldn't know how to function. How would your parents feel? Your best friend? If you're in a sorority or fraternity or any other organization, what would happen to your sisters/brothers/friends? Even the strangers you see in class every day would feel your absence. If you think that everything would be the same then you're gravely mistaken. Why?

Because YOU MATTER. You are not here by accident. The very same God that created and designed this vast and vibrant and beautiful universe created YOU and has a detailed and carefully thought out plan for your life. You are His masterpiece and you are fearfully and wonderfully and PERFECTLY made. God made you in His image. How does it get any better than that? Like, seriously? Honestly, who are you to tell the God that created you that your life is over and that His plans don't matter? He literally died for you! He didn't die for you to give up! Love yourself. Accept yourself. Seek out help from those that love you.

You are stronger than you believe yourself to be. Depression is the hardest thing I've ever been through in my entire life and probably always will be. You're battling your own thoughts and your own self-doubt. There is nothing harder than being trapped inside your own mind. Just because you are here at this point does not mean you're weak. Right now you are battling probably the most difficult battle a person could ever face and YOU ARE ALIVE. Sure, it may not feel like it. It may feel like every inch of you is broken and bruised, but you are here and you have a purpose. See that through. Don't give up. Ever. There are people counting on you. There are people that thrive off of your presence and existence and God rejoices you because you are His creation. There are people that NEED you. I'll probably catch hell for this, but it is up to you on when it all ends. You CAN heal. God can heal you if you just give it to Him. I was healed through Him completely. No medication, no treatment, no anything except for the love and healing of God. "God brings you to the wilderness and the devil meets you there, but its up to YOU when you leave."

There are people that want to be there for you. When I finally opened up about my suicidal thoughts, when I finally exposed that raw pain to the world, I was able to heal. My parents, my closest friends, my beautiful sorority sisters all came running to my side to love and support me. There are people that want to be there for you too. I am one of them. Even if I don't know you I want to be there for you because I love you. Unconditionally. All it takes is a leap of faith. Go and tell someone. Seek out help. All it can do is help. Also, know that counselors and therapists are not one size fits all. If the one that you see doesn't really "fit" then there are others. Do not stop searching. I went through at least three therapists until I found a kind woman who didn't make me feel like I was crazy and who actually wanted to see me get better instead of trying to keep me coming back so she could draw a paycheck.

There is NOTHING wrong with you. You are not a freak. You are not a failure. You are not weak. You are not the bane of society. You are a person with feelings and thoughts and opinions and beliefs. Do not let anyone ever treat you like you're anything less. Only accept love and support and healing in your life. Cast out all hate and negative things AND people. Those negative things will not help you heal.

You are so precious. More than you could ever imagine. You're so important. Don't ever doubt yourself or the things that I've told you for a second. If you're suffering from depression or anxiety or suicidal thoughts please remember that you are loved, you are amazing, you are strong, you matter, and that there is nothing wrong with you. There are more people than you can think of that suffer from the same things you do. Do not ever feel isolated and alone because you are no such thing. You are in my prayers and I am sending you love and peace and understanding and hope.

I {truly and unconditionally} love you.