An Open Letter To My Friend Battling Depression

Hello friend,

First, you need to know how much I love you; how much everyone in your life loves you.

I know you are feeling like the world is all on your shoulders. And that world feels like a million pounds. And you don't know if you can hold it all. You don't know if you're going to break; or I should say when you're going to.

I know you feel like you can't do anything right. And that no matter what, you are going to lose. And at this point, you don't see how it will get better. You don't know if you can make it through another day like this.

And I know that no one really knows how you are feeling. There are no words that can describe what is going through you mind or that aching feeling in your heart. Other people can't know because, most of the time, you don't even know yourself. You don't understand how or why you feel the way you do. But you also don't know how to feel anything else.

So I'm not going to tell you how you feel, or what will make it better, or to just keep your head up because none of that really means anything. Instead, I am going to tell you how I feel.

I feel like you are one of the most important people in my life. Every day I spend by your side, whether it is spent laughing or crying, is the best day I could imagine. And every day that we are apart, I think about how amazing it will be when we reunite.

I feel like you are a bright light in my life. Even though right now you may be in the darkest place that you could ever imagine, you need to know that you are the light at the end of the tunnel for me. I can always count on you to watch stupid movies with, go on wild adventures with or do just about anything with. And knowing that is something I can hold onto during my toughest days.

I feel like you are one of the strongest people that I know. The fact that you are feeling all of these things that you cannot define is terrifying, and yet you still manage to get out of bed and face the world each day. You paint a smile on your face, no matter how posed it may be, every morning and set out for your life. Even if life only means going through the motions.

I feel like you think that you and your problems are a burden to other people. You don't walk around complaining or even venting about your pain. Instead, you hold it all in, as not to annoy or worry anyone else. But I need you to know that I am here for a reason. When I tell you that I am here for anything you need, I'm not just saying that to be nice, I mean it.

I feel like I want to be here for you no matter what. It could be 3 o'clock in the morning and I will pick up my phone or answer my door for you. We can cry for hours or watch "Friends" to cheer up or talk about anything you want. Please don't ever think I don't mean that.

And lastly, I know I would be lost without you. You have changed my life in so many amazing ways and even if you can't see that now, I will make sure that you do one day. You deserve to know how important you are to all of the people in your life.

Never think that you are irreplaceable.

Never wonder if you should be in this world.

Never let this disease define who you are.

And if you ever think you have no reason to be here, think of me. I need you here. I always have, and I always will.

I love you more than you will ever know.

- Your Loving Friend