An Open Letter To My Friend Battling Depression

An Open Letter To My Friend Battling Depression

You deserve to know how important you are to all of the people in your life.
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Hello friend,

First, you need to know how much I love you; how much everyone in your life loves you.

I know you are feeling like the world is all on your shoulders. And that world feels like a million pounds. And you don't know if you can hold it all. You don't know if you're going to break; or I should say when you're going to.

I know you feel like you can't do anything right. And that no matter what, you are going to lose. And at this point, you don't see how it will get better. You don't know if you can make it through another day like this.

And I know that no one really knows how you are feeling. There are no words that can describe what is going through you mind or that aching feeling in your heart. Other people can't know because, most of the time, you don't even know yourself. You don't understand how or why you feel the way you do. But you also don't know how to feel anything else.

So I'm not going to tell you how you feel, or what will make it better, or to just keep your head up because none of that really means anything. Instead, I am going to tell you how I feel.

I feel like you are one of the most important people in my life. Every day I spend by your side, whether it is spent laughing or crying, is the best day I could imagine. And every day that we are apart, I think about how amazing it will be when we reunite.

I feel like you are a bright light in my life. Even though right now you may be in the darkest place that you could ever imagine, you need to know that you are the light at the end of the tunnel for me. I can always count on you to watch stupid movies with, go on wild adventures with or do just about anything with. And knowing that is something I can hold onto during my toughest days.

I feel like you are one of the strongest people that I know. The fact that you are feeling all of these things that you cannot define is terrifying, and yet you still manage to get out of bed and face the world each day. You paint a smile on your face, no matter how posed it may be, every morning and set out for your life. Even if life only means going through the motions.

I feel like you think that you and your problems are a burden to other people. You don't walk around complaining or even venting about your pain. Instead, you hold it all in, as not to annoy or worry anyone else. But I need you to know that I am here for a reason. When I tell you that I am here for anything you need, I'm not just saying that to be nice, I mean it.

I feel like I want to be here for you no matter what. It could be 3 o'clock in the morning and I will pick up my phone or answer my door for you. We can cry for hours or watch "Friends" to cheer up or talk about anything you want. Please don't ever think I don't mean that.

And lastly, I know I would be lost without you. You have changed my life in so many amazing ways and even if you can't see that now, I will make sure that you do one day. You deserve to know how important you are to all of the people in your life.

Never think that you are irreplaceable.

Never wonder if you should be in this world.

Never let this disease define who you are.

And if you ever think you have no reason to be here, think of me. I need you here. I always have, and I always will.

I love you more than you will ever know.

- Your Loving Friend

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
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Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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What Rescuing a Dog Taught Me About My Future

She was a real pain to begin with, but I wouldn't give her up for the world now.

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My first dog came from a breeder to us when he was just a puppy. I was in third grade so we were both young together. I remember stepping off of the bus and seeing him curled up in my mom's arms. His breed, a Cavalier King Charles, is a highly sought after dog for their small size and beautiful markings. However, dog breeding can lead to medical complications down the line. Heart murmurs are very frequent as cavaliers get older. When he turned 9 years old, they were already detecting the beginning of a heart murmur in him. But my second dog didn't come to us in quite the same way.

Willow was about a year old. She was rescued from an abusive home where she had to fight for her food from many other dogs. This made her guard resources and distrustful of us. My mom and I begged the rest of our family for the ability to adopt her, and they finally agreed. Being not potty trained, we had to teach her with a lot of positive encouragement when she went pee in the right place (not our carpet). It took her a while to realize that we weren't going to take her food away and she gradually became less resource guarding. She started to trust my other dog more and play with him. A lot of the time, they even snuggle together now.

At the time, I was in my junior year of high school and still thinking about the idea of becoming a veterinarian. She helped me decide to go for it, and now I'm in college and getting ready to apply for veterinary school. Willow has become part of our family, and her funny and unique personality fit right in with us.

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