Hey sweet girl,
I'm so sorry you're hurting love, I would not wish this on anyone.
This will more than likely be the hardest season of your life. Matters of the heart usually are the toughest to surpass. Knowing that I won't proceed to tell you to brush it off, or be stronger, or with time it'll all be okay.
This time is without a doubt lonely, confusing, and heartbreaking. First and foremost, you're not crazy and there is no definitive timeline of when this shall pass. Some things do just take time.
Please don't fight it. That ache in your heart. I know the world gives you a million ideals to cling to but don't fall into them. I know you are feeling as if your world has crumbled at your very feet, everything you believed in, trusted, dreamed, and pursued, has all vanished. But sweet girl, the world will still leave you empty handed in the end. The only way to get through this is just that, to go through it.
So Cry. Cry a lot. The thing is, it's okay. It is normal to have loved someone so deeply that it just hurts, emotionally and physically.
There is no doubt your mind is anxiously going over every moment, asking yourself an endless amount of questions.
The best advice for your broken heart is let this time happen, and above all else run to Jesus. I'm not going to tell you this is easy, because that's far from the truth. However I will tell you, I found healing, truth, and redemption in my friend Jesus. Once my restless heart let go.
In those quiet moments during the night, tell Him. All the fears that besiege your heart. The scares and the pain you encountered. Cling to Him so tightly.
I know this feels as if it will surely last forever, that there's no end to the darkness.
All I can entrust in you is this to shall pass. If you open up all the corners of your heart to Jesus He will show you all the blessings that can arise from the shadows.
One day you'll look back, and be so incredibly thankful you embarked on this journey. Sometimes our heartbreak is actually heart-help. That through these moments the Lord is building us in ways we couldn't possibly understand in the midst of the pain.
Let Him carry the burden of all your pain and aches. There is beauty to be unveiled in all the darkeness. The hardest part is realizing this won't last forever. That light is coming.
For now though dear friend, I wish more than anything Jesus touches that beautiful heart and you find him in the darkest of days.
This is an important part of your story, and I pray you come out stronger than ever on the other side.