Dear My 10 year old self,
Right now you're in fifth grade and think that the world is much smaller than it is and your eyes shine with hope. Don't let them take that shine from you, no matter how badly things seem never stop hoping. You have your click of your friends and you believe they're your ride or dies and some of them are and some of them aren't. So when some of them leave.. don't think its your fault. Because its not, people leave sometimes because thats what they're suppose to do, even if you don't see reason in it.
The first thing I want you tell you is that your first love is not your last. That love is grand and will stretch out the seams of your heart because its so big, so when he leaves it hurts but you will fill that space with love for yourself and love for the new people in your life. You will think this love will break you, that it shattered any chance for happiness ever again but it will show you how to find real happiness. So when you think you love that boy in your study hall in 8th grade.. you don't.
Secondly you need to remember that there are more people in this world than the ones that seem the most popular and cool. The best people in your life will come when you're not looking, they'll recommend you a book or give you a cookie in english class. They won't look like you and wont sound like you. They won't know what corn hole is or why the Red Sox didn't win for 80 years. But they will show you great music and teach you how to trust again. Love those people and fight for them.
Another thing is that you don't need to be who they all want you to be. You don't need to buy the expensive clothes and go out and party all the time. Follow your heart and it will lead you to exactly where you need to go, regardless if people think its cool or not. You'll find better music and eat yummier food if you don't follow what everyone else is doing.
Lastly, you're gonna be okay I promise. Even when you think your life is over and theres nothing left on this planet for you. You're so epically wrong. You're going to meet beautiful and kind souls and eat weird food and listen to wicked good music. You're going to lose people that you thought would love you forever and thats okay. You're going to hate yourself sometimes but you'll also learn to love yourself more and more everyday. You'll starve yourself but you'll realize that you're beautiful no matter what. You'll lie and cheat and make big mistakes but the people that help guide you out of those dark times will forever be in your heart and thats what matters. Those terrible terrible times will teach you how fragile and terrifying life is, but its the moments after that will show you how beautiful and strong you are.
Love Yourself.
