Heartbreak affects every person at least once in their life. And when that heartbreak occurs, it changes the person. Sometimes the change can be for the better but more often than not, it takes a toll on who that person used to be. New fears set in, paranoia about everyday occurrences, doubt, self-esteem issues; all of this and more happens when trust is broken in one way or another.
I think that the most difficult part for anyone is trying to understand and empathize with a heartbroken person when we ourselves may have never experienced the same outcome.
Whenever we approach someone that is hurting, someone that we may potentially want to share our lives with, the first question that must be asked is this; am I willing to make a sacrifice for this person? Love is all about sacrifice, putting the other person's feelings above our own. This can be difficult at times because humans are selfish.
Thoughts begin to take over, such as: I would never ask this of them...I am giving and giving, yet nothing good ever comes out of it. Is it so much to ask for some understanding?
All thoughts such as this can be expected because it is a large sacrifice to give up your time and energy for another person, especially when it feels like they are giving no effort back in return.
Once it has been decided whether or not we are willing to work for this other person, to help them through their struggles with a sacrifice of our own it is important to gauge how the other person reacts best to your efforts. Are they the type of person that is closed off and doesn't respond well to one on one conversation? Are they very open with their feelings but get very emotional when approached or perhaps get angry and shut down? My advice when it comes to these situations is a very simple one that goes back to the old ages.
Write a letter.
It may seem obvious, but a letter can help both parties when one, or perhaps both sides, simply can't express their feelings in the desired way. By writing a letter to your other half you can calmly write out all of your thoughts in an organized way without getting frustrated that your message isn't being received. This method is perfect for the receiver as well because it allows them time to think over what is being said, and gives ample space for them to respond at their own pace. When attempting to heal a hurt that has already been done it is so important to move at the speed of the affected person. Rushing them or pressuring them will only worsen the situation and create a roadblock that impedes all progress to healing.
Above all else, take the time to reflect on yourself before stepping forward to help the heart of another. If you are willing to sacrifice a bit of yourself for the person that you love, then you will both be on the road to a healthy relationship with two people that strive for the happiness of the other.
“Letter writing can be seen as a gift because someone has taken his/her time to write and think and express love.” ~Soraya Diase Coffelt
