Every year trends pop up- it's inevitable. Some have been unfortunate (shoulder pads, anyone?) while some have been long lasting (you truly can't live without a pair of jeans). But then there are those special ones, the trends that have truly taken the stupidity up a notch and have plagued society with their presence. Now what would fall into this exclusively hideous category?
Fake glasses.
Unlike those who wear fake glasses, I depend on my glasses for my sense of sight. Since the 3rd grade, I have enjoyed the responsibility of glasses (no contacts), which include:
- Constantly having to clean them off because you accidentally touched your face and forgot your glasses were there and now there’s a huge smudge and how did food get on there too??
- Somehow accidentally hitting your glasses off your bedside table during the night, and waking up blind and having to resort to sense of touch as your only way to find them.
- Deciding whether you want to wear your glasses in the pool and get a tiny million water drops on them or suffer from a concussion because you blindly swam into the side of the pool.
- Swimming in the ocean and having to wear your glasses so you know what’s going on, and then forgetting that you’re wearing them when you get hit by a big wave and having to awkwardly tell your mom why you’re not wearing your glasses anymore.
- People who are too lucky to even know it with their 20/20 vision putting on your glasses and the constant response something along the lines of “Oh my god, I can’t even see! You’re this blind?”
Now, it’s not as though glasses are all bad. For one, without them I would not be able to see and therefore would have to sit about one foot away from anything I would like to look at in detail.
For another, there’s the frames! The frames are the most exciting. For someone who has to wear glasses to have any sense of sight, frames are important, especially when you don’t have contacts. The style of frame almost defines you- and it is up to you whether or not it is good impression.
So, after years of suffering from the same frames (same ones since my glory days in middle school), my junior year of high school I finally got new frames, ones that were all the rage- the Hipster glasses.
These type of glasses are still very popular, and I have gotten more compliments on these bad boys than I ever had before on my frames. HOWEVER, there is a catch. You have to deal the phonies.
The phonies are the ones who wear glasses, but they. are. not. real.
You could just break the “glass” by popping them out of the frames or worse, there isn’t any “glass” at all. It’s just stupid frames. The only thing worse than that is wearing the 3-D GLASSES YOU GET AT THE MOVIE THEATER. Yes, it looks as stupid as it sounds.
This is why the trend of fake glasses is a plague. These posers do not know the struggle of what it’s like, which makes me wonder, why do they WANT to wear glasses?
They’re not all that fun (refer to list above) and the only reason I wear my glasses is that I am too lazy to put on contacts in the morning, and I am actually not embarrassed by them (which is hard to come by, let me tell you).
So to all y'all fakes, just know, by popping out the lenses of 3-D glasses and then wearing them, you are, in actuality, being secretly cursed by those who have to suffer from having their glasses pushed up between their face and the pillow because they actually want to watch the TV.
From conversations with friends and family who also wear glasses, I know I am not the only one who believes that this is a plague that has taken our country. So, if you are reading this and you wear fake glasses, take what I have written as a direct message to you.
And just know, rather than looking like a better and cooler version of a geek, you instead look like an impostor, and we, the ones who are legit, can see right through your phoniness. And how are we able to do that? Because we are wearing REAL glasses.
