A Letter To A Lost Love

To Whom It May Concern:

I want to start out by saying I’m saddened and sorry. This place of hurt and resentment we now find ourselves in now seems so distant from the place of warmth and joy we started with. I look back and think about how many things could have been done differently. But I want to tell you that the past six months I’ve spent with you was one the most exciting periods of my recent life.

Those six months have taught me a lot about you and myself. I remember when we first started spending time with each other, and we would spend hours together and lose track of time. Whatever the activity, I found myself completely enveloped in every second. Your vast knowledge and passion for things like Pokemon, comic book heroes, and music were qualities that I found to be very admirable. I was thrown back by you, but in the very same way drawn to you.

God, how I really wish things weren’t the way they are now. I never wanted to change you or make you something different than what you were. I’m sorry for wanting something that you were just incapable of giving at this point in time.

But I am not bitter. I know that I wasn’t always in the right, and I know that I had done wrong. But, I truly cared for you and admired you deeply. I love you, and you’ll always remain very special to me. I don’t hold any hard feelings against you. No resentment and no judgment. Loving you wasn’t easy, but I still did it because I saw promise. I wanted to be, for you, what you were to me. Which was a comfortable, fun, and easy place for me to come to and find peace and joy. I know there’s a very good possibility that we may never be friends the way we were before, which depresses me because you really are an incredible person.

I will miss your friendship more than you’ll know. I will see you every day and think to myself how I wish we could go and have a six hour conversation at KD’s, or a four hour conversation in the parking lot of a Dairy Queen, a day spent riding around Sulphur eating Mexican food, getting ice cream, and just having childlike fun.

I’m going to miss the nervous feeling I got from bringing you flowers for your birthday, or giving you a vinyl copy of your favorite Nirvana album. Walking around an empty fairground sharing a slice of pizza and a lemonade, waiting on the sunset that never showed up. Getting up in the middle of a movie to go and find your family dog at night.

I know I’m going to be okay, and I know that I will move forward with genuine hope for the best of both of us. If we find ourselves swimming in the same waters as we did when we first began getting to know each other, I will smile at you with joy and appreciation.

So goodbye, and I’ll be seeing you.

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