Hello there,
I know I'm probably not the first one to tell you this. As a matter of fact, if you're anything like I was, your friends and family have probably told you multiple times. Every time he texts you and asks to see you, but then doesn't reply to your messages for days until it's convenient again, it probably breaks the hearts of the people who love you. I know it breaks your heart, too, but he's not worth it. Trust me.
Maybe he's dating someone else and you're just always the girl who is there, waiting for him to breakup with his girlfriend in hopes that he will realize he's supposed to be with you like Taylor Swift told you he should. Maybe he's even cheated on this girlfriend with you, and he keeps telling you what you want to hear. Or, maybe he just doesn't want a relationship with you, but keeps you around for all the wrong reasons, and you believe it's because he loves you. He doesn't love you. If he did, he would realize how amazing you are, how beautiful you are, and how much you deserve.
He wouldn't promise to take you on dates and then continue canceling because better plans come up. He would have left his girlfriend already. He would have stopped talking to you the minute he caught any feelings at all until he could figure things out with his girlfriend. He wouldn't have kissed you that night when you were both drunk, but hasn't talked to you since then. He wouldn't ask you to do his homework or only text you when he wants you to bring him food because he's too lazy to get out of bed. He wouldn't hide you. He'd claim you. He'd show you off to the world.
You aren't a second option. You are a beautiful human being with a kick-ass personality and you just fell for the wrong guy who can't appreciate you. I feel your pain. I've been this person. I've waited around for something that's never going to happen. I've overanalyzed every single text message. I've questioned what I did wrong, constantly blaming myself for his distant attitude. I've accepted mix signals as love. I've settled. Looking back on it, it all made me stronger, but you have to end it. You have to invest in yourself. You can't be afraid he's going to leave you if you stand up to him. He was never yours in the first place.
You deserve better. You deserve someone who says you're beautiful and wants to hang out with you just because he wants to see your smiling face, not because he's getting something in return. You deserve a guy who will bring you ice cream and watch movies with you while you're on your period, not someone who won't even come over because they can't get what it really is they want from you. You deserve someone who will call you just to talk to you about their day. You deserve someone who knows your favorite candy and buys it for you on random occasions. Someone who loves you unconditionally. Someone who makes you a priority.
This day will come. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even in a month. But eventually, you'll wake up one morning and realize why it never worked with anyone else. You deserve to be someone's first choice. Every. Single. Time.
Sincerely,
A former second option
