To my future daughter,

I know you aren’t going to join me for a long time, but I think about you sometimes. I think about how you will look, how you will act, and how much you will be loved. I think about how I will raise you too: strong, graceful, and to have a heart larger than life. I hope I can raise you to know your value, because sometimes you will doubt yourself, but you can never doubt your worth.

In a world filled with #MeToo, self-esteem issues, and social media, my one wish is that you will never be pulled into the torment of them all.

I cannot promise that, but I do promise that I will try to change the world and make it better for you.

I'm writing this now though, because when I think about you, I think about myself, too. Sometimes we forget to look at ourselves from an outside perspective - to step out of our own shoes and just reflect on our lives. I always question, if I don’t want this for my future daughter then why do I want it for me?

So we will begin with everything I want you to know.

First of all, never question your worth, my dear. It’s so easy to fall into this hole where we feel like we are not good enough. That’s never the case. We live in a world where social media has absorbed our lives and trapped our emotions, where we compare ourselves to others based off of likes, favorites, and simply the attention a photo can grab. We’re all victims of this, it’s just how we’re wired now.

The number of "likes" you get are not the value of your worth, rather simply just a number. It does not determine how amazing of a person you will be, or how beautiful you will be. It does not change the people who will love you, and it does not change the people who won't love you.

Never compare yourself to someone else, because there are many types of flowers, but people see the beauty in different gardens.

Secondly, I desire that when you do come into my life, the world of “Me Too’s” no longer exists. I hope that you will not be a victim of the evil in this world. I know I can’t always protect you, but I will do my best to make sure you are safe. My current goal for my generation is to make a difference - to stand up for what I believe in and to speak volumes for those who are too scared to voice their own words.

I desire that you will never be asked questions like...

“What were you wearing?"

“Why did you go to that party?”

Or “Why didn’t you just say 'no?'”

I hope that there will be a shift in how we acknowledge rape culture and sexual assault, and that I will not have to worry about sitting in a courtroom wondering why the perpetrator is only getting 3 months in jail because he’s a “good kid” who “only had 20 minutes of action”.

Never feel ashamed of what you look like and wear. Always be modest in what you do in life, but do not cower away because of judgments from others. Never let the words of someone else strike you down.

Thirdly, I pray that you know what respect and love look like from a young age. I believe where we went wrong at some point in time is saying to young girls growing up, “He’s only mean to you because he likes you”.

But it’s just harmless playground talk.

Wrong.

There is a pattern now where we have mistaken the beatings of disrespect as love dripping like honey from the lips, that the words they say are just because they are playful and expressing their liking to us. That’s not how it always works.

Do not mistake the constant name-calling, put-downs, and wishy-washy games as love. Do not question your own self-value based off of someone else. The snake poison that drips from their lips is actually disguised as the sweetest honey. It enters our system, slowly invading us, capturing us until we fade away.

There is a line between joking banter and insults. Don’t ever let your loved one cross it, and if they do, be ready to call them out or leave.

I hope you know early on what true respect is. It builds a person up to new levels. It propels us towards our goals and makes us the best version of ourselves. Do not accept mediocre when there is someone out there willing to give you the world. We settle too easily, fall too quickly, and love too strongly.

It’s alright to love with all you have, but do not give yourself away to supply that love.

And lastly, listen to your parents and loved ones when they give you advice. They aren’t doing this to hurt you, but rather because they have your best interest at heart. This is all about the outside perspective again. They can see things from angles that you cannot. No one knows you better than the ones closest to you.

I share this now because I have experienced some of these things first hand. I have turned down advice throughout my life when I should have taken it. I have been broken. I have felt like nothing. So what I need you to know (because it’s something I wish I knew sooner), is that you are more special and loved than anything else in this world.

And before you join me, it’s time that I start believing it, too.

Sincerely,

Your future mother