Dear World,
It's nice to meet you. I am that friend you all know. The one who is never in a relationship. The one who cracks jokes about her own singleness just to get a bit of a laugh. I'm not ashamed of that. But, I do want to set a few things straight.
First, I'm not going to claim I chose this. That would imply that I have guys asking me out at every turn and I'm constantly turning them down for whatever reason. And that's simply not true. I am single as a result of high standards and lack of interest. Let me explain. I am old-fashioned when it comes to romance. I think that (with some encouragement from the interested girl) it should be the guy's job to initiate. He will be the one to eventually propose, and if he can't even ask a girl on a date, it's going to take a lot for him to propose. That being said, not a lot of guys out there choose to initiate these days. And, that's okay. It just means I'll be waiting a little longer as a result, but not as a choice.
Second, blind dates are not the answer to all life's problems. I don't care if his Tinder profile is cute. I don't care if we seem "soooooo perfect" for each other. Maybe this goes back to the whole "old-fashioned" aspect, but I really want to meet a guy in a non-forced situation. Maybe we'll run into each other in a coffee shop or meet in class or I'll drop a can of soup near him in the grocery store. But, please don't try to set me up on a blind date, because I'm going to say no. I'm just not interested in forced romance.
Third, and maybe this is just me, but don't be afraid to make the joke. If you have the opportunity for the perfect burn about me third-wheeling or being single, go for it. You bet I'm going to have something sassy to say about your relationship, and having you tiptoe around the joke just because it might hurt my feelings just makes the entire situation more awkward.
Fourth, please don't tell me to pray about it. I fully believe that prayer works and God works through prayer in magnificent ways. I've witnessed it. But, if you don't think that the desires of my heart come up in my prayer life, you really don't grasp the kind of conversations I'm having with God. Praying about it more is not going to make Prince Charming drop into my lap tomorrow. And suggesting to any of the single people in your life that they should pray for the appearance of a significant other is just kind of obnoxious. God isn't some wish-granting genie. Talk to them about praying for God's will to become their desire. Talk to them about praying about the places God has called them and the ways he has equipped them. But, please, for the love of all things good, do NOT tell them to pray their significant other into existence.
Last, let me enjoy my single life. Who knows? Maybe next week the guy of my dreams will sweep me off my feet. But, maybe he doesn't exist. We don't have any way of knowing for sure, so why should I wait around with bated breath for something that may never happen? That's just dumb. And I've already spent too much of my life with that mindset. Just like being in a relationship has its perks, being single does too.
So, please stop trying to "fix" me. I get that it's different being single as long as I have, but it will just make it that much more special if I do find someone.
Sincerely,
Your Single Friend
