Dear Meemee,

You’re death was unexpected. It caught me off guard. When I woke up on Thanksgiving morning, the realization hit me. It hit me pretty hard.

I stared blankly at the wall for a few minutes and tried not to be upset. However, how could I not?

You died too soon. It isn’t fair and I don’t understand why bad things always happen to good people. There’s always a reason, but I still wish I knew what that reason was for you. You were too young and you were finally getting better.

Nonetheless, the cancer inside you refused to go away.

I hate cancer. I hate to even say its name. If I would have known I would no longer be receiving cherry pies for my future birthdays, I would have asked you to teach me. Be that as it may, I could never make them as good as you.

I loved your baking as much as I loved you. I loved your hugs and smiles. I loved that you were always there.

Mentally, emotionally, and physically you had gone through so much. I could tell from your eyes that it was breaking you, but you refused to express all of that pain. I admired you because you were one of the strongest women that I knew.

I honestly wish cancer would go back to Hell. I wasn’t just sad about your death, but I was angry.

I was angry at the fact that this was the fourth person that I had loved that had gotten cancer and the third person that had passed away from it.

This disease is absolutely a work of the Devil. I swear he’s trying to break my sanity. However, I know where you are and that you are in a better place with no more pain, or suffering.

Accepting the fact that you are no longer alive still has not been easy. Balancing my emotions and college classes has been a struggle because I constantly think of you.

Then I worry about Papa. He feels so alone. He misses you as much as I do, maybe even more.

Being married for 45 years is a long time and he just feels lost without you. I pray for him as much as I pray for me and everyone in our family.

Thanksgiving felt weird without you and my birthday and Christmas will, too. Out of all the people in the world, why did it have to be you?

I have written many things to honor you because you were loved by so many people. You were a fantastic daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, and grandmother. You are and always will be a wonderful woman.

I love you, Meemee. I always will. Papa and everyone else will, too.

Love Your Granddaughter,

Danielle

(In Honor of "Bertie" Bertha Jacobson, May 1, 1950--November 15, 2016.)