College is hard; everyone knows that. It’s the best time you’ll ever have mixed in with never-ending stress from papers, exams, lack of money, jobs, and drama. The majority of college students are already stressed out, but there’s a new level of challenge added to it when mental illness gets involved.
Depression can’t really be understood by those who don’t have it, but I’ll try. Imagine everything is going great for you. Your grades are decent, you’ve got good friends, and you’re managing to balance everything you want to do fairly well (for a college student). Now imagine that despite everything being okay, you’re still miserable. You think you’re a total mess, you take the smallest comments your friends make and twist them out of proportion, and even something as small as a failed quiz can make you want to drop out. Honestly, it doesn’t even need a reason. As much as you wish you could, you can’t control these thoughts or feelings at all. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
It’s not always an everyday thing. I have days where I feel fine, life is good, and I can have a positive outlook. Sometimes negative thoughts creep back in with no urging, sometimes it’s something as stupidly minor as forgetting to eat a banana before it goes bad. Either way, it always comes back. It’s not curable, only treatable, and since it doesn’t usually begin to affect people until they are in their mid to late teens, we are still figuring out how to handle having it.
Depression isn’t immediately obvious, either. I’ve had many people tell me I don’t “look depressed.” What does it look like, exactly? Often, people with depression try very hard to cover it up. They joke more, they laugh more, and they try harder to see the positive side of things, because if we didn’t do that we’d truly be in a hole. There’s nothing quite like the sting of doing all that to make those around you feel good only to have them tell you that you’re too happy to be sad.
Even writing this article isn’t easy. Not only is it hard to put in to words, but people with mental illness are still endlessly stereotyped. Reaching out for help or even just talking about it is most often considered “attention seeking.” Usually, when we tell someone what’s going on it’s in the hopes that they’ll understand and work with us. That doesn’t often happen.
We can’t just make it go away. We can’t just think positive thoughts and be fine. We promise we’re more tired of it then you are.
Depression and other mental illness such as anxiety affect millions of Americans. Chances are very strong you know several people with one, whether you realize it or not. We don’t need you to try and fix us. We just need understanding and sometimes a few positive words when midterms get us down. Kindness goes a long, long way.
