Any girl any where can tell you how hard it is to just walk down the street without being approached by some random guy who you never spoke to before. This is harassment. Harassment is very real and it’s a problem. And yes you’re probably sick of seeing stories like this, but guess what-- we’re sick of this happening. I’m sick of not being able to walk down the street without someone whistling at me or catcalling me. I’m sick of not being able to go to work without fear of being attacked.

I worked in New York this summer on a show and one night the cast all went out to celebrate, I had just turned 21 two months earlier so this would be my first time going to a bar with my friends so of course I drank and got a little drunk. Well, while my friend and I were going back to her apartment, this guy approached us and I’m sure you know where this is going. He asked to talk to me and asked for my number (to which I said no) but he kept pushing me to give him my number. That’s when my friend came in and said she’s clearly drunk leave her alone which was met with “I don’t know why girls like you look out for your friends”. That’s right you read that right - this random guy on the street told my friend she shouldn’t look out for her friends and that she should just let whatever happen to them.

Secondly, I had an internship in New York this semester at a really cool place; most of the semester went by without any incident. That was until my very last day where I had a guy follow me onto the subway, and then continued to try and talk to me despite the fact that I had headphones in. To get to Penn Station I have to switch subway trains so I was relieved to leave the train and get on the other subway train; that was until I saw the same guy on this new train. He followed me, and tried talking to me... again. He asked for my number multiple times (because being told "No." once wasn’t good enough) and then asked to add me on Facebook (if I wasn’t going to give him my number, what made him think I was going to give him my full name?). At this point I was beyond uncomfortable and was ready to just start crying. Every time I tried to move he would follow me. You can imagine how I felt when he got on the same train as me to go back to New Jersey. I knew that if I tried to sit anywhere he would sit next to me and continue to harass me, so I did what any girl would do in this situation. I went to the conductors who collect the tickets and asked to sit with them. Finally I felt a little more safe but I didn’t feel totally safe until I was back on campus in my room.

Now you may think those aren’t so bad because they were just asking for my number, but it is so bad. To me it’s terrifying because I don’t know if those are the guys who will snap and do something if I say no. I don’t know if those are the guys who will wait until I’m alone to grab me and next thing you know I’m just another statistic. I’m not weary of all men, but I am weary of men who can’t understand the word "no". My friend’s dogs understand the word "no" better than they did. There’s a reason I asked my parents for mace last year, and why I got mace as a Christmas present last year. There’s a reason why I’m afraid to walk alone at night... or even during the day. There’s a reason I keep my headphones in despite the fact that I don’t play any music.

Before you say "Well both those things happened in New York, of course it’s going to happen there," realize it doesn’t just happen in New York. It happened to me this summer when I was working my night job at the gym down the street from my house. I used to walk home from work every morning after my shift because it was 5 minutes from my house and I didn’t see the need to call my parents and wake them up at 5 am but that changed quickly because I no longer felt safe walking home. Two things happened one morning:

One: A worker at a place by me was prepping for the start of his job when I left mine. He came up and started talking to me (mind you I worked 12 am - 5 am five days a week so I just wanted to go home) and when I said I just wanted to go home, he replied with "Well can I get your number?" Again I said "no" which he countered with, "Can I at least get a hug?" (Which if you’re a girl you know how cringe worthy that is to hear.) Again, he was met with a "no" and I continued to walk. He followed me halfway across the parking lot yelling at me until I got out of the parking lot and in to the street.

Two: A random guy who I’ve never seen before pulled his car over and offered me a ride - which is nice, but still no. Not to mention that the offer was followed by “I’ve been watching you and I see you walking home everyday just let me drive you.” Creepy right? I was freaked out. I told my mom as soon as I got home and asked if she or my stepdad could pick me up from now on.

Cases of street harassment don’t just happen in big cities like NYC, they happen anywhere.

It’s not a compliment or flattering, it’s annoying. I don’t want to be stopped on the street when I’m trying to get places, no girl does. We just want to get from point A to point B without anyone stepping in our way - the same as anyone else trying to get somewhere. Just so everyone who’s never faced this type of thing before, know that it’s scary. It makes your heart pound. The "I-can’t-breathe"-inducing scary because you don’t know what’s going to happen if you say no.

So, next time before you tell a girl to just say no or tell the guy to go away remember that it’s not always that easy. Most of the time guys like that don’t take well to being turned down and can get violent or they can see it as a challenge, and therefore could harass a girl even more.