It’s interesting how long it can take for some things to sink in. At the end of my senior year of high school, the decision was made: my high school would remain open for one more year and then be turned into a middle school. The school board had reduced us to numbers and figures, but we were a community. A group of kids trying to figure out this world together in (what I believe to be) the most loving and supportive high school there is. The realization that my home would be shut down and completely changed was made worse by knowing that Vet’s Chorus, Jazz Chorus, and Chorale would also be ending. It wasn’t until recently, when I was watching an episode of Glee, that I realized it was really over for everyone. To the school board,it probably doesn’t matter, but for us, choir wasn’t just sitting in a room together and singing for 45 minutes a day. It was magic, real magic that radiated from the choir room and across the stage when we performed. I don’t know what made me join choir, maybe it was just because I enjoyed singing, but I know why I stayed. I stayed because choir was this beautiful group of people with unique voices and personalities that could come together to make beautiful music. We supported each other, we loved each other, and we learned from each other and our amazing director. High school choir was four years of fun, tears, laughs, and lots of lessons that changed me and made me who I am today. I only wish I could have another year of it.

High school choir taught me that family isn’t just something you can trace on a tree.

They say you can’t choose your family, but in some ways you can. In choosing to join choir, I joined a family with traditions and long history of making music together. In middle school, I was amazed by this group, and I still remember my first class, terrified that I would be the worst. I learned that my skill level didn’t matter, it was my dedication to improving and being a member of this group that mattered. I was so proud of this family I chose, and I worked hard to make them proud of me. We loved each other and we always supported each other. High school can be hell, and so were some of the things life threw at us, but we always knew that we had support and love from one another, and that got us through. We were together for the bad stuff, but also the really amazing stuff. I remember the night we were at rehearsal, and someone interrupted us to announce that same-sex marriage had passed in the state. We celebrated victories together as well as losses, like any family would.

I learned how to imagine others complexly.

Although I chose to be in the chorus family, I didn’t get to choose who was in that family, and in a group of over 100 members, there were definitely some people I didn’t mesh with. But even though there were people I didn’t like, I loved everyone. We all came together to sing. Since we were all able to do this amazing thing together, I learned to appreciate something in everyone, I learned that people aren’t just made up of their negative traits. To me this is one of the most important lessons to learn, because sometimes you have to work with people you don’t like, and the best way to make it work is to find something, anything in that person that you can appreciate. See people for more than the things that stick out to you, see them as complex people with stories and families and lives that you don’t get to see. Imagine people complexly.

I learned how to forgive after being betrayed.

Your family is your family, no matter what they do to you. It’s easy to think you’ll just shut someone out when they’ve hurt you, but life is more complicated and messy than that. In my senior year, one of the juniors did something that made life miserable for quite a few of us. I won’t go into the details, but after a few days suspension, he stood in front of the entire choir to apologize to us, and many didn’t forgive him. I chose to forgive him, knowing that I would never trust him again, because he was part of the family, and it was important to me that I stood by every single person in this group no matter what happened. I didn’t defend what he did, but I defended him, because I know that no one has lived their life without making mistakes and causing disappointment. I knew that he loved us despite what happened, and I knew that we loved him even though a lot of us hated what he did to us. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but sometimes you need it to keep going, and keep going we did.

I learned the magic of performing, and what it feels like to run off stage after a receiving a standing ovation.

Like I said, choir wasn’t just about singing in a room for 45 minutes. We worked every day to make ourselves better and to put together a wonderful show. Our concerts weren’t just attended by parents who felt like they had to - people from all over the town came to each of our four performances of the year because we knew how to put on a good show. During my first concert, there were several standing ovations and it was a shock to me every single time. I couldn’t believe I was part of something this great. But beyond that was the amazing feeling of being on stage, the sound of the entire choir enveloping us in beautiful music. After each performance, we would run off stage, smiles stretched across all of our faces, knowing that we had created magic on that sage and everyone saw it. The stage is one of my favorite places to be now, knowing what can happen there, how dreams can come true.

I learned how to stay dedicated to something that’s really difficult.

I wasn’t the best when I joined my choir. I might’ve been one of the worst. But our director impressed upon us that singing doesn’t just come from raw talent, it comes from practice, dedication, and passion. In class we worked on warm-ups that strengthened specific skills and went over portions of the music we were struggling with a thousand times until we got them right, and at home we practiced even more. My goal wasn’t to become the best in the choir, but it was to improve, and I did after years of hard work. It certainly seemed impossible sometimes, but I kept going, seeing how good the upperclassmen were kept me at it. I never had to work this hard in my other classes, academics came naturally to me, but this didn’t, and that was a weird feeling. Yet it was a welcomed one, because I had worked hard for my grade, and it was the grade I was most proud of.

Most of all, I learned that the music isn't confined to a place, a curriculum, or a specific group; music is within all of us, we just have to sing it.

When I heard that my high school was closing I thought, that’s it, it’s over, everything we worked so hard for, our superiors at Choral Festival, the memories made, none of it mattered because it was over. But none of that is true. The doors closed on the choir room, but we’re still here. There are still Vet’s Chorus alumni, and we all still have music within us. It doesn’t matter that our group doesn’t perform together anymore. We’re still singers, whether in local choirs, college choirs, in musicals, or even just in our showers. We still make music, we still have music to share with the world, and the fact that Vet’s Chorus doesn’t have a performance in the future doesn’t change that.

What I wouldn’t give for four more years with the family that taught me everything and made me, me. What I wouldn’t give for just one day to sing with everyone in the choir room. Sadly, all of that is over, but the lessons we learned and the memories we made will live on.