Most people look back on high school and think, "man those were the best days of my life"...to me, high school was the exact opposite but at the same time it was when I learned the most about myself and who I wanted to be.
In a nutshell, here's what high school taught me...
1. I do not need validation from anyone who does not care about me.
After years of letting others belittle me and tell me the person I was, I suddenly stopped looking around for validation and looked within, to myself. I focused on what made me happy, the person I wanted to be when I left and I finally realized that the people in my life who did matter, who did love me, didn't think of me in the way these people did and that's what mattered to me.
2. There's a big ol' world outside of those walls.
When you're in high school, it feels like every little thing is the end of the world. Its hard to escape any situation that makes you uncomfortable because in that present moment, it is your world. But after graduating I learned that there is so much more out there. Mean girls didn't matter, drama wasn't everywhere and people in the real world don't treat others this way.
3. Relationships at this age, won't last.
We all have that relationship or fling in high school that we think is going to be our "forever". You dream of college and marriage at such a young age and think that nothing in the world could take this away from you, then one day everything changes and you're left picking up the pieces. Your heart is broken and all you've known has changed but in reality, this was never meant to be your forever or your "norm" for long, just a minor learning curve and lesson in life.
4. How you view yourself is what is really important.
Yes, we are human, things bother us and mean words hurt us but once you come to the realization that at the end of the day how you feel about yourself and view the person you are is way more important than the views of others will ever be. When I found myself "fitting in", I realized that I really wasn't all that happy. I didn't like myself because I was changing for others around me and wasn't being my authentic self. It hurt worse to let myself down rather than letting these people around me down.
5. Do not settle.
In high school, I settled in a multitude of different situations where I felt "comfortable" and felt that it would be okay for me and because I didn't see any huge reasons to leave, I stayed in these situations. What I came to realize was, once I finally realized what would make me truly happy, I no longer settled. I could have my perfect future, perfect partner, perfect life that I wanted and it was out there for me to grab. I didn't need to settle myself in a situation or situations that didn't make me 100% authentically happy. I deserve the life I want and I was going to make it happen.
6. People who care about you, WILL make an effort.
I spent so much of my teen/high school years making up excuses for people in my life that didn't give me the same respect and effort that I gave them. I wanted to find reasons to make it "okay" for what they did to me, but in reality they didn't care. I was convenient and vulnerable and I allowed myself to be walked all over. After soul searching and not settling for anything less than what I deserved I finally realized that the people who care about you and want you in their life, will make time for you, they will reach out to you, and they will put in the same effort you do to make sure you are apart of their life. Making excuses for other people doesn't make them a better friend; if they are constantly showing you that they don't care, they probably don't.
7. People won't remember how skinny you were.
As a girl, with constant pressure to look good, I was always obsessed with the way I looked. I was always so insecure and upset with the way that I looked and always compared myself to the girl next to me. It became an obsession that had a bad grip on me. Finally, I grew up and realized that spending your time focusing on the outward appearance of yourself was a waste. When you're gone and people look back on the person you were, they're going to remember the heart you had, not how small your waste was or how you looked on Instagram. Spend time being a good person and doing things for others. Inner beauty trumps all.
8. Don't try so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out.
I always hated myself in school, because everyone around me seemed to, too. I was always trying to "fix" myself or make myself better so that people would like me. Every day I would talk to my mom and ask her why, why was I different, why didn't they like me, why was I never good enough to fit in with them? Her answer was consistent. I didn't need to fit in, I wasn't meant to. I didn't need validation from these people. I didn't need to be their friend or change myself to be seen as "good enough" in their eyes. I was born to stand out and venture off and create a beautiful, meaningful life for myself that didn't necessarily fit into their standards. I finally came to the conclusion that I was enough and that I was different, but I embraced it, hung on to it, and pursued it.
Now I am an adult in my 20's, starting my own business, putting my life out onto the internet to show who I truly am, to tell my story, show my passions and I am so happy. I know the person I am and I have taken the dark times in my life and turned them into motivation to only make a better life for myself. I want to tell my story, I want others to relate to me and I want people out there struggling to know you are not alone. High school is not forever and you're not always meant to fit in. Embrace who YOU are and stand strong in all situations because loving yourself and the person you are will be what matters in the end.
