Being a single 22 year old has its ups and downs. To say that I am unhappy on my own wouldn't be the truth. But to say that I am happy alone, wouldn't be the truth either. I am about to be super transparent in this post because I think it's important that people who are in similar situations know that they aren't alone and life really does suck sometimes. But as Hannah Montana would say "Life's What You Make It." Ever since I can remember I have had a boyfriend. Whether that was simply someone I talked to on the phone and danced with at middle school dances, or one of the few guys I truly believed I loved. In the 6th grade I had my first "boyfriend." I will never forget writing in my day planner his name with hearts around it and writing my name with his last name. All that typical BS that's comes with your first relationships. Fast forward about 10 years later and I really can't remember a time when I was really single. Every time something happened with a guy I was dating, there was always someone else waiting to swoop in and take care of me and my emotions. I didn't realize it at the time but that would end up really being one of my weaknesses. Being alone scares the crap out of me. Not having a constant reinforcement from a guy saying that you are beautiful, smart, and enough l, was terrifying. Whether that has to do more with my constant anxiety and fear of being alone, or just because I never had the chance to be "alone," I'll never really know. There came a point in my life about a year ago when I faced with something I never thought would happen. A serious medical issue. I had formed a blood clot and to make a very long story short, I spent a few weeks in the hospital and ended up having to have my first rib removed leaving me with a pretty large scar on my chest. But hey, scars are a part of your story and I have learned to love mine. Through this scary experience I had an amazing and loving guy in my life. We talked about future plans and a part of me believed he was "the one." But after this experience in the hospital, I realized just how much life I hadn't lived. And how I have never really been on my own. I have never had to depend completely on myself. So, I ended that almost year long relationship that I was really comfortable in. Yes, a part of me really ended it because I wanted to see other people and "be free" to do what I wanted. But the other part of me truly wanted to see if I could do it. Could I be totally alone? Yes I went on dates and talked to guys here and there. But I didn't have that one person. The one person I could totally depend on. But now, here we are. Almost a whole year later. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be single for almost a year, I would have literally laughed in your face. But these last 10 months have been the most enlightening, terrifying, lonely, exciting, fun, and confusing times of my short 22 years. I had to learn to be content with just me. When you take the time to focus on yourself, you learn so much about who you are and what you want out of this life. I also learned that I am never truly alone because I always have my Lord and Savior watching over me and leading me in the right direction. Have I made a shit ton of mistakes this past year? Oh yes. Have I hung out with guys I probably had no business hanging out with? Probably. Have I made relationships and memories with friends that I never could have if I were in a relationship? Hell yes. Bottom line is, this beautiful and intense life we live is short. I truly believe one of the most important things in the world is to love yourself. Love yourself for your flaws and for your strengths. Figure out what makes you happy, mad, sad, scared, etc. Go to the movies by yourself. Go eat by yourself. It is damn empowering if you ask me. It's funny because now, I am ready for another relationship. I'm ready to be in love again. I'm laying on the beach right now looking at couples around me, and I am envious. I want to find "my person" so bad. But I am still happy and content because I am me. And I freaking love that person. I'm so proud of the woman I have become and the accomplishments I have made all on my own. I know that one day someone will come into my life who is right for me. And I am so excited for that day. But until then, I am living for me. I spend the days doing things I love and becoming the best version of myself. Being alone is scary but I encourage you to do something by yourself. Ask yourself, are you really happy with the person that you are? My final thought is this. You can never be truly happy with someone else, until you are fully happy with yourself. ❤️