Don’t let others’ opinions influence you. You shouldn’t care what other people think.
At least that’s what people say; that’s what I’ve been told. But what if you can’t escape the thought of “What will people think?” You may not even be able to point out exactly who these “people” are—maybe just other humans in general—but the looming presence of their hypothetical opinions can direct even the simplest of decisions.
If you’re anything like me, the previous paragraph rings many bells. I go through each day almost constantly thinking of what responses my actions might elicit. I assume someone is going to judge me for everything I do, whether I’m picking out a pair of pants to wear, preparing a response in a discussion, listening to new music or proofreading a tweet. Maybe because I, myself, judge anyone and everyone I notice, usually within seconds, and usually resulting in a negative assessment.
It could also stem from—or possibly cause—my being a follower. I’ve never been a leader, always playing second, third or fourth fiddle to the top dog in the group. In any relationship, a leader always emerges, no matter how equal the contributors feel they are to each other, and in these situations I’m never in the running.
The 1985 movie, “The Breakfast Club,” a perennial favorite in film discussions, highlights the five major food groups of the high school clique pyramid: the brain, the athlete, the basket case, the princess, and the criminal, and when watching, one can’t help but place oneself into these categories. One, like me, might have even taken an online quiz to determine which character you are. However, despite what BuzzFeed tells me, I tend to relate most to Andrew, the “sport-o.” Not because he’s an athlete (What’s a football?), but because he can’t think for himself, as pointed out by Allison (Ally Sheedy).
I’m about the most unoriginal person I know. I picked a school because I knew someone who went there, and because I would have a roommate I knew. I picked a major that came recommended, and when that was a miserable failure I switched to English after another student brought the idea to my attention. I started writing after some friends got together to write a television pilot and thought I was funny enough to contribute. Some might even say I sought a position with Odyssey because of someone else.
Until recently, I rejected others’ opinions that I was just “copying” other people, but the thought was always in the back of my mind, slowly but deliberately influencing my daily choices. But now I can’t help but recognize my need to follow. I’m a lemming and I’m proud—though I like to think I would stop short of the cliff.
As I sit here sipping my black gold (coffee, not crude oil), I realize I have a problem, but I’m going to continue to have this problem until it really becomes a problem. Get it? I’ve gotten this far and I can’t say I don’t like where I am. Wright State isn’t half bad, and I love writing. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else with my life, so why change now? I might need to find some more friends to imitate, though; I’m running out of ideas.
For those of you who are like me and can’t seem to keep the potential judgments from jumping across your synapses, I offer you this: don’t let it overcome you. Don’t let those thoughts chip away at your soul. Fight it if you want, but unless you’re unhappy, there’s no sense in changing your decision-making process. Even if you can’t think for yourself, at least you’re still thinking. But, hey, what do I know? I’m just a hack writer with a platform.
In regards to those who make the judgments, I’m about to go visit the porcelain throne, and I’ll be thinking of you. Have a nice day.
