When breaks come in college I feel relieved to be back in my home, but then I think of you. I think of everything that happened here and I cringe. I feel almost uncomfortable in my own skin. It's nice to be back, trust me, to see my ride-or-die friends, my amazing family. However, I don't like seeing everything reminding me of my past. I want to move on but it seems as if every time I come back here its two steps back from my one step forward towards a new life. You have a hold on me that makes me feel like I am suffocating. You aren't good for me.
I know that you were everything I didn't want to leave after graduation, but now you are why I want — why I need — to leave.
I will miss the familiarity of everything, being able to come back home from school and get in the car and know exactly how to get everywhere.
I'll come back and visit, tell my kids about you and all the crazy stories, cherish my friends I have made here that I couldn't bear to live without. But I will be moving away as soon as possible, trust me.
I always wonder what it is like to stay in the town you grew up in, to know every part and every road so when you have kids and need to drive them to their friends you know exactly where to go. But that won't be me.
It does hurt, don't get me wrong. When I was little I would always think about what if my kid went to the school I did. But that was younger me. Older me can't wait to take trips back here and show my kids where all my stories happened.
The world is so big and endless, I don't know where I'm going just yet but I have plans.
So, I'm sorry hometown, but you will merely be my past, nothing else.