What You Leave Behind When You Kill Yourself

What You Leave Behind When You Kill Yourself


When you have a bad day, a lousy week, or maybe you've given it thought and have decided you've had a lousy life, you make a choice that you're simply going to end that life. You want to stop dealing with it, stop living it, stop going through it, and you just don't want to handle it anymore.

So you kill yourself.

Some people decide for whatever reason, they want to do it using a gun. Other people decide for whatever reason, they want to hang themselves somewhere in the house. Some people decide for whatever reason, they want to drive off a cliff. And there are other choices. It sounds morbid to describe the various methods that people use to kill themselves. But I am doing it for a reason.

The reason is simple - To point out that while some of us think that it's an easy way out, that it's something someone hasn't given a thought about, or it's something that someone simply decided to do on a whim, there really is more behind it than that. It takes creativity. It takes genius. It takes some serious thought. And it takes some intelligence. If someone wants to hang themselves, it involves figuring out how to make it work where they won't fail. If someone wants to shoot themselves, they have to figure out how to make it work to where they won't fail. Because if someone wants to do it bad enough, they don't want to end up sticking around being brain dead, being a vegetable, and not being able to do anything on their own.

But one thing people don't seem to take into account when they want to kill themselves is that they don't ask themselves a simple question - What are they going to leave behind when they kill themselves. And maybe if you give that some thought, you should think about it as well. What are you going to leave behind when you kill yourself?

By this point and time, you may have stopped reading. But then again, maybe you haven't. Because maybe at some time in your life, you've given it some thought. Maybe you hated life. Maybe you hated people around you. Maybe you wanted to kill yourself too. And you just saw what I'd asked - What you leave behind when you kill yourself. Maybe that's why you didn't do it. You thought about who you'd leave behind. You thought about what people would think about you. Maybe you even wondered how it would feel when you did it. I can't answer those questions. I don't know. Because I'm not you.

But maybe if people gave it some thought before they actually decided to carry through with it, they would reconsider, and maybe they wouldn't do it. Because if they knew the answer to that question, they might not want to put someone through that. They wouldn't want to make someone have to deal with it. They wouldn't want their family to suffer. They wouldn't want their friends to cry. They wouldn't want people to go to a funeral and have to ask everyone else why it happened, or did anyone know, or why would he/she do it, or what was so bad that they wanted to stop living.

Maybe you didn't want everyone asking the question that I've asked - What do you leave behind when you kill yourself.

Think about it.

Just take a moment and think about it.

Don't do it. Even if you want to do it. Don't.

Think about it.

Just take moment and think about it.

Maybe take two minutes to think about it. Maybe take an hour.

Maybe you should give it a day.

Think about it.

What do you leave behind when you kill yourself.

If you're married, you leave behind a wife.

If you have children, you leave them without a father or mother.

If you have friends, you leave them behind wondering why you did something like what you did.

If you have never been married, maybe you think you are leaving nothing behind.

But think about it.

Don't do it.

Just think about it.

You want to kill yourself.

But what do you leave behind when you kill yourself.

If you hang yourself from the ceiling, someone is going to find your body.

If you shoot yourself in the head, someone is going to have to clean it up.

If you decide to drive off a cliff, someone is going to have to clean up the mess.

If you decide to swallow pills, someone is going to find you in the bath tub, bedroom or whever you want to do it.

If you decide to do it. You leave behind one thing.


This might be a simple decision that you are going to make. You want to die. You don't want to see tomorrow. You don't want to suffer. You don't want to go through anymore pain. You just simply don't want to wake up again.

But you are going to leave you behind.

You are going to leave behind unanswered questions.

You are going to leave behind bills.

You are going to leave behind debt.

You are going to leave behind friends.

You are going to leave behind family.

You are going to leave behind your pets if you have some.

You are going to leave behind a house. A yard. Belongings. Things that will remind people of you forever.

Before you decide to do it, ask yourself a question.

What will you leave behind when you kill yourself.

Everyone leaves something. Everyone leaves someone. And that's enough to make you maybe want to ask the important question before you carry through with something like this.

Do you want to see tomorrow?

Do you want to suffer if you fail trying to do it?

Do you want to know if life will get better?

Do you want to see friends you haven't seen in awhile?

Do you want to say goodbye to your family before you go?

Do you want to mow the yard?

Do you want to shovel the walk?

Do you want to feed your pets?

Do you want to pay your bills and not leave someone trying to figure them out?

Do you want to............

Ask yourself a question.

What do you leave behind when you kill yourself.

Once you do it, there is no going back.

There is no erasing the decision.

There is no starting over.

Before you decide to make a decision that is life-changing and forever, ask yourself a question.

What do you leave behind when you kill yourself?

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Because "pretty" is so overrated.

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

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Cover Image Credit: Favim

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An Open Letter To The Girl Who Just Feels... Alone

Because "look around you, you aren't alone," is cliché and helps no one. I've been there.


Dear strong soul,

You feel alone now more than ever. Your recent move/breakup/relationship/mistake/change in character has brought you to this point, and you don't know what to do. I want to write to you to prove that I am here, and you aren't alone.

Guess what? We get to grow!

I know you feel like no one knows you can feel your heart breaking and that you feel lost and isolated. Please, resist the urge to compare yourself to the people around you. In an age where it seems we're constantly reduced to a social image and a following we can display online, it's difficult now more than ever to "see" loneliness. In the same way, you often feel like your loneliness is masked by the image you let people around you see, you don't see half of what those around you're struggling with.

You don't see that you're not alone.

Ask yourself, what does it matter if those around you are less lonely than you are? You're YOU. You are special no matter who's around you succeeding in their own ways. You will get to the place you want to be.

This stage of life is normal and it's temporary.

You should take this time to pour yourself into what you're best at; you're so talented! Create art. Treat yourself. Grow flowers. Learn how to do something you've never tried before Don't be afraid to try new things! If you focus less on digging yourself out of loneliness and spend more time embracing this stage of life and growing strong, you'll be so much happier.

Lastly, don't lose heart. We got this. You're doing an amazing job.

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