What You Leave Behind When You Kill Yourself

What You Leave Behind When You Kill Yourself


When you have a bad day, a lousy week, or maybe you've given it thought and have decided you've had a lousy life, you make a choice that you're simply going to end that life. You want to stop dealing with it, stop living it, stop going through it, and you just don't want to handle it anymore.

So you kill yourself.

Some people decide for whatever reason, they want to do it using a gun. Other people decide for whatever reason, they want to hang themselves somewhere in the house. Some people decide for whatever reason, they want to drive off a cliff. And there are other choices. It sounds morbid to describe the various methods that people use to kill themselves. But I am doing it for a reason.

The reason is simple - To point out that while some of us think that it's an easy way out, that it's something someone hasn't given a thought about, or it's something that someone simply decided to do on a whim, there really is more behind it than that. It takes creativity. It takes genius. It takes some serious thought. And it takes some intelligence. If someone wants to hang themselves, it involves figuring out how to make it work where they won't fail. If someone wants to shoot themselves, they have to figure out how to make it work to where they won't fail. Because if someone wants to do it bad enough, they don't want to end up sticking around being brain dead, being a vegetable, and not being able to do anything on their own.

But one thing people don't seem to take into account when they want to kill themselves is that they don't ask themselves a simple question - What are they going to leave behind when they kill themselves. And maybe if you give that some thought, you should think about it as well. What are you going to leave behind when you kill yourself?

By this point and time, you may have stopped reading. But then again, maybe you haven't. Because maybe at some time in your life, you've given it some thought. Maybe you hated life. Maybe you hated people around you. Maybe you wanted to kill yourself too. And you just saw what I'd asked - What you leave behind when you kill yourself. Maybe that's why you didn't do it. You thought about who you'd leave behind. You thought about what people would think about you. Maybe you even wondered how it would feel when you did it. I can't answer those questions. I don't know. Because I'm not you.

But maybe if people gave it some thought before they actually decided to carry through with it, they would reconsider, and maybe they wouldn't do it. Because if they knew the answer to that question, they might not want to put someone through that. They wouldn't want to make someone have to deal with it. They wouldn't want their family to suffer. They wouldn't want their friends to cry. They wouldn't want people to go to a funeral and have to ask everyone else why it happened, or did anyone know, or why would he/she do it, or what was so bad that they wanted to stop living.

Maybe you didn't want everyone asking the question that I've asked - What do you leave behind when you kill yourself.

Think about it.

Just take a moment and think about it.

Don't do it. Even if you want to do it. Don't.

Think about it.

Just take moment and think about it.

Maybe take two minutes to think about it. Maybe take an hour.

Maybe you should give it a day.

Think about it.

What do you leave behind when you kill yourself.

If you're married, you leave behind a wife.

If you have children, you leave them without a father or mother.

If you have friends, you leave them behind wondering why you did something like what you did.

If you have never been married, maybe you think you are leaving nothing behind.

But think about it.

Don't do it.

Just think about it.

You want to kill yourself.

But what do you leave behind when you kill yourself.

If you hang yourself from the ceiling, someone is going to find your body.

If you shoot yourself in the head, someone is going to have to clean it up.

If you decide to drive off a cliff, someone is going to have to clean up the mess.

If you decide to swallow pills, someone is going to find you in the bath tub, bedroom or whever you want to do it.

If you decide to do it. You leave behind one thing.


This might be a simple decision that you are going to make. You want to die. You don't want to see tomorrow. You don't want to suffer. You don't want to go through anymore pain. You just simply don't want to wake up again.

But you are going to leave you behind.

You are going to leave behind unanswered questions.

You are going to leave behind bills.

You are going to leave behind debt.

You are going to leave behind friends.

You are going to leave behind family.

You are going to leave behind your pets if you have some.

You are going to leave behind a house. A yard. Belongings. Things that will remind people of you forever.

Before you decide to do it, ask yourself a question.

What will you leave behind when you kill yourself.

Everyone leaves something. Everyone leaves someone. And that's enough to make you maybe want to ask the important question before you carry through with something like this.

Do you want to see tomorrow?

Do you want to suffer if you fail trying to do it?

Do you want to know if life will get better?

Do you want to see friends you haven't seen in awhile?

Do you want to say goodbye to your family before you go?

Do you want to mow the yard?

Do you want to shovel the walk?

Do you want to feed your pets?

Do you want to pay your bills and not leave someone trying to figure them out?

Do you want to............

Ask yourself a question.

What do you leave behind when you kill yourself.

Once you do it, there is no going back.

There is no erasing the decision.

There is no starting over.

Before you decide to make a decision that is life-changing and forever, ask yourself a question.

What do you leave behind when you kill yourself?

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My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

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2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

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I love you!

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Dealing With Anxiety And Depression In College Is Hard, But You're Never By Yourself

My struggles only made me stronger, and God is preparing me for something much bigger.


Anxiety and depression are two things I've struggled with all of my life, but they were also two things I could never put a name to. In middle school, I believed my mannerisms were something everyone else around me was going through as well.

High school was okay because I was constantly surrounded by people I loved, but as soon as I got to college, it was as if I transformed into this completely different person. My grades dropped, I was losing weight, I was constantly sick, and it felt as if no one around me knew what I was going through or even really cared.

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Before I could fix myself, I had to name what I was going through, and I think that was the hardest part. I was ashamed to say I faced anxiety and depression because I didn't want to come off as broken. I'd always been known as that "bright and smart" girl, someone who was always smiling and optimistic about whatever she was facing. Someone who always loved everyone else and had no time to worry about herself because she was constantly putting others first.

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The sooner I accepted the feelings I was facing and that I wasn't the only one facing them, the sooner I was able to heal.

The sooner I realized it was all in my head, the easier it was to get rid of those feelings. I began to learn that the trials I was facing weren't normal like my middle school self had convinced me they were, but after being able to name what I was going through, I was able to accept it as it was and push myself to heal. And by push, I mean literally push. I stopped calling my family during breakdowns and instead listened to music that distracted me. I stopped canceling plans with my friends and forced myself to go out because I knew I would have a good time if I just went. I stopped skipping meals just so I wouldn't have to walk across the quad, and my body is thanking me for it every day.

I realized it was okay to feel sorry for myself, but feeling sorry for myself didn't have to include moping around all day. Instead, I started treating myself to getting my nails done, splurging on those new boots, or small things such as buying ice cream with the spare change in my glove compartment. Feeling sorry for myself meant going above and beyond to make myself smile, worshipping more to heal my heart, and spending more time with the people I love to feel whole again.

Now I'm healing, but it's still something I still struggle with to this day. I still think about skipping meals, my anxiety attempting to convince me not to take the short walk across the quad. I still think about bailing out on hanging out with friends. I still think about skipping class. I still struggle with seeing the positive things about waking up in the mornings, wanting nothing more but to curl into a ball and cry until I fall asleep again.

I still struggle with naming the things that I'm feeling, and where they come from, but I'm also learning.

I'm learning not to be ashamed of who I am. I'm learning to find joy in the little things, such as a warmer day than the one before, or a free coffee from the little breakfast shop. I'm learning that what I'm going through doesn't make me weak. I'm learning that I'm not a burden, and the faster you can accept what you're feeling, the faster you'll be able to heal, too.

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