Long-distance relationships are a common part of college life. Whether you're miles away from your high school sweetheart or found love during a trip home from college, like I did, I know what you're going through. Thankfully this isn't my first rodeo, and I've learned a lot throughout my successful and not so successful LDRs.

My current relationship is a long distance committed one, spanning across 2000 miles from San Diego, California, to Elmhurst, Illinois. I'm out in the Midwest doing the undergrad thing, while my girlfriend Lisa lives her life on the Best Coast. As we gear up for my graduation and our future together (one that doesn't involve quite so many FaceTime calls), I find myself reflecting on what I've learned this past year.

1. Communication is the make-or-break

It sounds like common sense, but from thousands of miles away words are all you have. There's no comforting hugs. No "I'm sorry" hand holds. No supportive back rubs. It's all in the way you communicate and the words you choose. This means that "I feel" statements are all too relevant and each partner must be open about what they need and how it should be conveyed.
With Lisa and I it was important to learn what kind of support we needed. I'm a solution type of partner, constantly jumping in to suggest next steps and more ideas. Lisa quickly had to clue me in on how overwhelming and ineffective that strategy was, instead asking me to give her support through understanding and extra love. This conversation is what stands out as one of the most formative in our relationship. These conversations aren't fun, but they build a foundation that can withstand all the stress of an LDR.

Don't let yourself remain as confused as The Biebs, or it just won't work out. Sorry, Justin.

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2. Technology is an LDR saver

Despite the bad rep our generation gets for texting all the time, it's modern technology that has revolutionized an LDR. Lisa and I use an app called "Couple" that is designed for far-apart romantics, as well as the usual social media apps like Facebook and SnapChat. Instead of being that annoying person who Instragrams her meals, I'm that annoying person who SnapChats my meals to my girlfriend so she can delight in my exquisite tastes.

Sometimes a long text or loving social media post can feel like penning a novel, but it's worth the satisfaction of sharing some extra love.

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3. A date is a date, no matter how far

When it comes to honoring commitment, LDRs have to be conscious of setting aside time from one another. When we are together, Lisa and I find it easy to carve out time for dates and outings. But when school and work are keeping us busy 2000 miles away from one another, it's important that we plan date times and stick to them as much as possible.
Those dates vary in structure. Sometimes we just need long FaceTime talking sessions, other times we play games on our cell phones and watch movies.

I've learned that the worst feeling is waiting by the phone to no avail.

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4. Art heals hearts

I have always loved art. Like many people, I find value and comfort in music particularly. I've learned that my most successful and enjoyable relationships have some artistic component connecting them. With Lisa, it's music and poetry.
She made me a CD before I left for college last semester, and I listen to it constantly while driving around Illinois. I am guilty of belting out the lyrics and Kim Kardashian crying all over town.
As a poet, I also find myself inspired by our relationship. As a result I've written tons of poems, and even a short story, to express my feelings. When we went 60 days apart, poetry was the best way for me to work through the loneliness that sometimes creeps in. It's in those moments of artistic connection that I truly feel moved by what Lisa and I share.

No LDR is incomplete without some sad acoustic songs, really.

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5. Crying gets comfortable together

I've cried in front of Lisa possibly more than I've cried in front of my mom. I've known my mom since I was birthed, if that's any indication of how serious this crying thing is. I cried in front of Lisa the day we realized how serious things were getting over summer, because it was painful to imagine the start of the semester. We've cried on the phone because we missed each other, in the airport because we were parting ways, in the airport more because we were reunited, and on Face Time when I found out I got into grad school in San Diego.

If I wasn't comfortable expressing my emotions in front of Lisa, I would be an isolated mess.

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6. Holidays/birthdays/nights/days are hard

Speaking of crying, LDRs have taught me that pain is a very real part of distance. It's not always simple to find time for one another, and flights aren't cheap. I can only send so many "I miss you" texts before it gets to be unbearable.
Even the simplest moments like falling asleep are met with tremendous difficulty sometimes. Other events, like my 21st birthday, felt incomplete without Lisa.

Thankfully, those moments of pain pale in comparison the immense joy of being in love and feeling loved.

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7. Snail Mail matters

I never really appreciated anything handwritten (See #2) until my love life went long distance. I've learned that power of a care package, a hand written note, doodles or a delivery. Opening my tiny campus mailbox is most exciting when I know there will be something lovely in there that I can carry around in my back pocket all day.

Sorry I didn't understand your excitement, Steve. I finally do now.

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8. Every moment together is a blessing

Whether it's a couple day visit or a long vacation home, there's nothing I enjoy more than closing the distance. Those moments don't last nearly long enough, but they are filled with happiness and excitement. It's a true joy to be with the person you love, and I learned to appreciate it through experiencing time apart.

I've learned to really bask in those moments and show love as much as possible.

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9. Not everyone is going to "get" it

Not everyone experiences an LDR, let alone multiple like I have! As a result, some of my friends aren't so understanding. There's been times when a planned FaceTime date is my reason for turning down an invitation. Somehow, that's perceived as less "real life" than a traditional date, resulting in bitterness.
Another common Grumpy Cat response is found on social media, where people discourage couples from posting about one another. For one, the internet has enough ugly in it so I appreciate couples who break up the monotony of sadness and injustice with some lovey dovey posts! Secondly, an LDR makes it difficult to really express how you're feeling about your partner. So those posts can be cathartic as much as they are adorable.

The people who don't get it? Well, they never will. So I just let it rest. Their unhappiness won't bar me from experiencing true love's kiss/FaceTime call.

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10. It's worth it when it's worthwhile

Breaking up with someone over Skype sucks. Really bad. Same goes for text message and phone call -- all of which I've had the misfortune of experiencing. But now that I'm in an ideal healthy relationship, it's all worth it. I don't feel inconvenienced with the extra measures. I don't get tired of the obnoxious FaceTime ringer in my ear. And the visits never get less exciting.
For Lisa and I it's almost over, but the lessons we learned will last a lifetime. Whether we sleep in different states or under the same sheets, we will never forget to show our appreciation for one another. After all, I'm just excited to see her each morning as I am in the airport.

Now that's what love is, long distance or not.