I recently read a quote by Shel Silverstein from his poem "The Voice" in Falling Up. It said, "No preacher, teacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide what's right for you - just listen to the voice that speaks inside." I read this quote at a time in my life where almost every decision seemed to be make or break. I dealt with the challenges associated with these decisions by constantly deferring to and calling upon my mentors for advice, including research professors, academic advisers, and career center staff.
I wanted to ensure that I was making strides in the right direction, and without those mentors and teachers that were there to give me guidance, I believe stress and panic would have characterized my life. Effective mentors are important in any academic or career journey. They have our best interests at heart and are not afraid to correct us when we are deviating from the prescribed path. Leaning into our mentors helps to get rid of any confirmation bias that may prevent us from progressing in the correct direction.
The importance of mentorship is undeniable, but where do we draw the line? What do we do when the path our mentors prescribed to us doesn't match our goals anymore? People are constantly growing and changing. Students change their majors and career paths; working adults even go back to school to earn entirely new degrees. Our passions are dynamic and unique, and most mentors have their own passions and biases associated with the advice they dish out. Finding a balance between taking my mentors' advice and listening to my own voice is a challenge I have struggled with throughout college. Will they still respect me if I go against their advice? Will I be risking too much if I follow my gut instead of listening to the people who have invested so much into my future? The answer may be slightly ambiguous, but it is simple.
Be your own person and do what YOU want to do. That's right. I said want. As a young person working towards becoming a professional, I always knew what I NEEDED to do, and I had no shortage of mentors and peers reminding me of those tasks. What I realized later than I had hoped was that none of my accomplishments mattered unless I was passionate about what I was doing and looked forward to it each day, especially when these activities mirrored my future career choices. It was also important to make sure that I was being my authentic self in each activity and interaction I experienced.
If a mentor were to disagree with who I was, then I would gain more from standing up for who I am than I would from conforming to what they believed was best for me. This is why finding a mentor who supports you as an individual, including your ability to change your mind and stand up for the person you want to become, is critical. However, even with a well-matched and supportive mentor, I found that it is just as important to take time to listen and march to the beat of your own drum.
