Lots of times when we think of pledging we think of movie-stereotypes where pledges are basically personal servants and are attacked with pointless, cruel hazing—not only is that illegal, but it also isn’t true. The pledge process, or the new member education process, has evolved, and although some colleges are changing quicker than others, there is a lot to be learned as a pledge, or as now referred to as “potential new member.” As a recent pledge to a professional sorority, I want to share some lessons I’ve learned.

A part of the new member education process that still stands true are asking the pledges to complete, what may seem like, impossible tasks in a given time. For example, maybe you need to memorize a ton of material, write an essay, keep up on your schoolwork, and have time to sleep. One of the first things you learn is to ask for help. There’s a common misconception that those that are the most successful do it all themselves, but as I’ve some to find out, that is wildly untrue. Asking for help wasn’t a concept I was uncomfortable with, but the guilt of feeling like I owed somebody, was a feeling I couldn’t shake. I realized that people will not offer to help if they can’t, and if they do, it’s on them. They can say no, all you can do is give them a way out in case they do.

Often times, what makes people true successes is their reliance on others to help them out. That brings me to my next point: teamwork is crucial. Vastly different personalities having to work together is an unavoidable situation in school and in the workplace. Although you will not always click with everyone, sometimes your differences can be what unite you and help you work together. Play off each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Have an open discussion about what each of you brings to the table and make it a professional conversation, not a personal one.

Being a good team player means knowing how much you can take on and being reliable. One of the biggest lessons I learned during the pledge process is how to use my time most effectively. Although literally scheduling in an hour to see my boyfriend was not ideal, it does make you efficient. I learned that the best ways I can map out my time is by using different planners for different aspects of my life, writing lists of what to accomplish (in order of priority) for each day, and setting reminders on my phone. Find out what works for you!

The hardest lesson I’ve learned during this process is how to fail. For some people, they fail, they brush it off, and move on. For me, failing hits me hard in my gut and it’s hard to forget. Although, I had to remind myself of all the ways to cope with failure in my article How to Deal With Failure, it was not by any means a cake walk. Part of time management and teamwork is accepting when you know something just isn’t going to get done, and being okay with that. It’s a chance to grow and learn from it.

So next time you think pledging is all about wearing red lipstick and reciting creeds, remember how much can be gained from this process. If you are a pledge, you are growing whether or not you realize it—be proud of all that you’ve already accomplished.

*Shout out to my pledge sisters. Love you all!