Here at UCLA, we have the option of living in a frat house for the summer. When this opportunity presented itself to me, I could not resist it.
Actually, that’s a lie. I absolutely dreaded the thought of it. How could a place where you’ve seen some of the most outrageous things in your life become a home? How could you possibly survive living in a house full of boys? I couldn’t imagine it, so I did it. With the help of my friends and an open-minded attitude, I accepted the challenge to live inside a fraternity home. Here’s what I learned:
1. God bless the cleaners.
If being the president is the most important occupation in the U.S., then being a cleaner is the most important occupation in a fraternity home. If it weren’t for the cleaners, living in the house would be the ninth circle of hell. The entire house would be permeates with an odor of stale beer and rank urine. Carpets stains would grow out of the fabric. New strands of bacteria and micro-organisms would emerge from the bathrooms and break out into a new plague.
The cleaners are absolutely the most underrated and valuable people who make a fraternity work. I can’t even imagine the things they’ve seen, they smells they’ve encountered, and the textures they’ve touched. My respect goes out to them, wholeheartedly. After living in the house and seeing what they go through, I can’t help but to swallow back my tears of gratitude and sympathy when I pass by them, while whispering a soft, but meaningful “thank you so much for all that you do."
2. You are surrounded by history.
Every fraternity is embedded in a unique history, especially if that chapter has been active at your university for years. It was interesting to learn about another chapter’s history and traditions and to be surrounded by the reminders of past members. Fraternity alumni from previous years have even visited to check up on the chapter and meet some of the new members. It was cool to witness the sense of brotherhood these guys felt toward each other, even when none of them had met before.
3. Work anywhere but the house.
Go study at the library, at Starbucks, the Coffee Bean, a park bench, or even by the trashcan where the homeless guy always asks for change; just don’t, I repeat, DO NOT go to the house thinking that you will get work done. You are lying to yourself. The second you walk into the house as it’s blasting your favorite song, you will lose all motivation to do your work. Instead of doing your readings and writing that essay, you will find yourself playing pong and taking power shots until you can’t remember what your last name is.
4. I am grateful for being in a sorority and for just being a girl.
After the first four weeks of living in the house, I have a newfound appreciation for my sorority house. The homes are clean. Meals are provided for you. It isn’t always loud, and uninvited visitors won’t just enter and trash your house. Not only do I feel like I have finally achieved my childhood dream of being a boy for a day, but I finally can conclude that being a girl is actually pretty sick.
5. How to kill a cockroach.
If you’re not brave enough to make direct contact with the critter, then you’re going to need Off spray or another kind of strong aerosol. Steadily approach the roach. Once the bug is in sight and about an arm's length away, spray that sucker down until it squirms in defeat. If you’re hardcore, you could probably just stomp the crap out of it until it’s crushed. It’s a more eco-friendly solution, but it takes courage and some tissues.
6. Headphones and melatonin are your sleeping buddies.
No, the house doesn’t care if you have a midterm and two papers due tomorrow. They will rage on without you. If you need your sleep, make a playlist with some soothing tunes and stick your earbuds in. You’ll be set. If that still isn’t doing the trick, then take a natural sleep inducer like melatonin and hope for the best.
Enduring these past few weeks was a challenge, but it's an experience I know I'll love to look back on.
