We all take a different path through life. All enduring different obstacles and boundaries along the way. All of our so-called journeys are different, but in some way, they are all the same.
1. Self-care is HUGE
In general, I believe self-care requires being in touch with yourself. Knowing your limits, knowing what you do and don’t like and simply being aware of you. It’s doing the things that make you feel good and happy and whole and lessening doing or being around things that don’t.
When I researched ways to provide self-care, it sounded fairly easy. The hardest part was actually doing it. There were days where I would lack in the area of self-care and that’s okay. I had to remember to love and respect myself enough to get back on track. When my life got busy, it was easy to put myself as the last priority, but it’s not worth it when you let that become a habit and end up compromising so much of yourself.
Take the time and make the effort to love yourself. Embrace your flaws and everything wonderful about you. Spend time with people you love and who love you. Meditate or pray - whatever brings peace to your mind. Write out the thoughts and emotions that clutter your mind. It’s amazing how freeing that can be. Stress can be harmful to the body and mind -- and part of self-care is to take care of your mental health. Taking time for yourself can greatly relieve such stress. Once I started to love myself is when I became the happiest.
2. I care for others more than myself
I live for helping people. When I help others, it helps me because I know I’ve made somebody happy -- I’ve made a difference in somebody’s day. When I dedicate my time to showing my love for those who deserve it, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and helps me forget my own problems. I choose to put myself behind everyone else because that is how much the people in my life mean to me.
In a way, this is damaging. Most times, I was caring for people who cared very little about me, which was heartbreaking. For so long I believed people may not wish me to be a permanent figure in their lives, for whatever their reasons, but that doesn’t mean that I cannot use my time to benefit them for the better. I can still bring them joy and happiness and be a light to them, even while I can surely assume that I’ll be replaced in just a few short months. I was losing my self-worth.
Continuing to care for someone who can't return your feelings makes you feel miserable. There's no reason for me to allow someone to have that kind of power over me. No matter how someone is connected to me or what my past is with them, they have no right to continue to bring me down.
3. I compare myself to others
Yes, we all do it. It's pretty known that comparing leads to self-doubt, which is exactly what happened to me. 'I'm not pretty enough," " I'm not skinny enough or good enough," these thoughts constantly eat my brain. Most of the time I'm not even aware that I'm doing it. I ended up resenting a lot of people, some I didn't even know very well. which isn't fair at all.
This is where self-care really comes to play. I started to really focus on myself and my self- worth. I stopped focusing on others and wishing for what they had, and just started to love myself.
4. I've learned to accept change
First, I want to point out that learning to accept what you cannot change is change. You're taking a part of yourself that is completely inherent to you and learning how to make the best of that. I've spent a large portion of my life learning my strengths and coming to terms with my weaknesses in order to open myself up to the best possible me. I feel different. I seem different to myself. In retrospect, I have changed from the person I used to be who used to respond to herself much differently.
I have less stress after learning to accept the parts of me that I cannot change. Accepting those parts changed my behavior for the better. I began to realize how others perceive my actions and learn the consequences of those actions. I learned what tasks I am and am not suited to and choose accordingly. I know when to stand my ground, and when it simply isn't worth it. In essence, I learned who I am.
These past few months have been challenge after challenge, but I would not want to be anywhere else than where I’m at right now.
