When people ask me what I want to do with my life after I graduate, I can honestly say I have no idea. I don’t know what my “dream career” is, where I want to move or any specific details. All I know is that wherever I end up, I hope I go alone.

I want to go alone because that means I know I won’t be held back or let someone else affect my decision. Even though I am only a sophomore and still have time to figure things out, I know that this is the time of my life where nothing is certain and a lot is up for change. And I would never want someone else to hold me back through any of this.

There will be a day when I’m ready to get married and be with someone for the rest of my life. And I cannot wait for that time of life when my heart will be so full of love for someone else. However, I know that I am not ready for that time now.

Instead, now is my time to be selfish. And it’s my only time to be selfish. These are the only years in my life when I can live on my own, discover what I love to do and do it fully. I’m still learning about myself — the types of activities or hobbies I want to pursue and the person I want to become.

So the best advice I have for anyone is to date yourself. Take yourself out to dinner; go to the mall alone and buy something for yourself; sign up for zumba or take that cooking class you’ve always wanted to try. Don’t be afraid to be independent and treat yourself. Become comfortable with spending time alone, and in turn you’ll gain confidence. Do something you've always wanted to do, even if it's crazy. Now is the time to be bold because you have no one else to consider but yourself.

And stop worrying about finding someone. Stop wasting your time on boys who won’t treat you the way you deserve. Stop thinking you have to have someone in your life in order to be fulfilled. It drives me crazy when girls think they need a guy to be happy. You don't.

The expression, “You must learn to love yourself before you can love others” is true. I cannot begin to give love and attention to someone else when I am the one who needs it first. I’m learning to appreciate my body, style and soul, and am working on not letting others influence that. It’s not always easy. Sometimes I feel lonely and like something is wrong with me. But that only motivates me more to shift my thinking back to focusing on loving myself.

I know that I will never get these years back, and that’s why I am so excited to take advantage of every opportunity in my youth. I’m only beginning to learn how to fall in love with myself, and I accept that it’s a journey that will take time. When the time comes at graduation, I know that the decisions I make will be the best possible thing for me.

One day I will be married, own a home and raise a family. But that is not the phase I am in right now in life, and there is no rush to get to that point. Naturally things will fall into place, so in the meantime I would rather focus on me.

If there’s one thing I hope I never am, it’s the girl that thinks she needs a guy in her life. Instead, I want to be selfish, I want to be confident and I want to love myself.