Like many, I’m in a relationship. We have been dating for some amount of time we both lose track of often, we live together and we love each other a lot but our dog more.
When you’re in a long-term relationship, the honeymoon stage fades away, but some things evolve. I have zero shame in admitting that when it comes to our relationship we can be a little lackadaisical. This isn’t because I don’t care about him because I really do love the booger. There are just certain “couple” things we do that I, because I am lazy, do a little differently than most. Laugh all you want, but here is our relationship dictionary.
1. Cuddling
For many this is a cute act of affection in which the couple entangles themselves unto one another for intimacy. Cuddling for us is at most lying in the same bed, watching SVU, sprawled everywhere fighting over the blanket. Our feet rarely touch. I am the anti-affection, and being touched freaks me out. Cuddling is definitely not our thing.
2. Date
This is commonly an event where a couple takes time to enjoy one another’s company with dinner, a movie or a trip somewhere fun. Again, yikes. A date for us, fortunately, means us coming home, ordering pizza/Chinese/both, popping the cork to marathon drink a bottle of red wine and watching Tiny House Nation on HGTV. We will on occasion take the time to get dressed, go to Texas Roadhouse and stuff ourselves full of saturated buttery rolls. With us both being so busy it’s just easier to come home and relax. This might not be for everyone, but it is great for us.
3. Going out
For singles it means enjoying a night out at the bar or party scoping the place for hotty totties. For my friends, I’m the wing woman to have around, trust. For us, and don’t laugh, going out means debating for two hours if we should even make the trek out of the house to his fraternity’s weekend festivity. If we do choose to go, he doesn’t recognize me in my makeup, gawks over my outfit and we leave and arrive together. This might seem strange to many, and of course we have plenty of nights out apart — we’d go insane if we didn’t. But, in all honesty, the only person I’m trying to impress is him. If I show up in leggings and a sweatshirt to come get him, he still thinks I’m the coolest girl there.
4. Napping
How cute, two individuals taking the time to schedule an allotted daytime slumber. What? People have the ability to sleep for ONLY an hour?? If we’re “napping” separately, I wake up at 4 a.m. with 11 texts from him asking if I am alive. I do not have the ability to sleep for these small increments of time, because sleeping is a marathon, not a sprint. If we attempt to nap together, it does not get accomplished. We end up on Vine watching dogs, debating politics or laughing about his hilarious fraternity brother’s antics. Simply put, we laugh until our stomachs hurt or just go find something else to do. Napping is for me, and me only.
After reading these, I hope I didn’t scare you away from wanting a relationship. It’s pretty sweet having a live-in best friend that will roast your life at any given time. If you’re as busy and bummy at relationships as I am and your bae accepts you, keep him. Don’t forget that love is shown by many in the way they wish to receive, and every love language is different. Ours is just as relaxed and casual as it comes. Hope you laughed a little.
Xoxo. I suck at relationships, but he likes me anyways.
