A wise philosopher, Justin Bieber, once asked a thought provoking question: "Is it too late now to say sorry?"
Well, Justin, I'm here to answer -- yes, it is in fact too late to say sorry.
Apologizing is not always an easy task. Some people simply cannot do it, while others, (ahem, me) have an issue with over-apologizing. Now, a quality apology when it is needed is a very important thing. However, apologies can be excessive, which can take away from the main reason of the apology.
I'm here to give you a break down on the concept of being sorry.
Do not apologize for things that are not your fault. Do not apologize for doing what is best for yourself, if that is what you need to do. Don't apologize for taking a risk or for caring too much. Don't apologize for your emotions. You're a cool creature called a human - it means that you have needs and emotions, and will make mistakes as a result of those. It's important to notice the difference between apologizing when you are in the wrong, and apologizing for simply existing.
Do apologize for intentionally hurting someone. Accidents happen, and you should apologize if something goes wrong, sure. But it was an accident, and like I said - they happen. But if you maliciously go out of your way to cause someone harm, directly or indirectly, then you better work up an apology. You cannot control having emotions, and sometimes you cannot even control what those emotions make you do. However, you do control whether you project your negative feelings onto someone else just so that they can feel the pain with you. That, my friend, is not cool.
Remember: real apologies come with real consequences. "Sorry" just doesn't cut it. Even the most elaborate and beautiful apology (i.e. Justin Bieber) doesn't mean anything until you put your words into action. Real apologies that make a genuine improvement require a lot of effort. You can stick the "sorry" bandaid on the wound, but unless you continue to reinforce that apology, the bandaid will fall off and a scar will remain in it's place.
Don't say it unless you mean it. We all make mistakes, and we deserve another chance - but if you make the same mistake over and over again, don't apologize because you most likely don't mean it. Saying "sorry" requires that you be an active part of the healing process. That means no more going out and doing the same stupid thing and expecting a generic apology to make up for it. If your apology isn't genuine, it is useless and will only make things worse in the long run.
Emotions are a difficult territory to cross. When you find yourself in emotional turmoil, you will either be the one apologizing or you will be the one expecting the apology. There is no easy right or wrong answer for this. At some point, you need to be honest with yourself. Do not apologize in a desperate attempt to regain normalcy, because it probably isn't your place to apologize and it probably doesn't carry any weight. Words are powerful, but actions are much more powerful. Instead of saying that you're sorry, cut the word out all together and show that you are sorry. It may be too late to say sorry, but it's never too late to be sorry.
