Why Asking For Forgiveness Is So Important
Start writing a post
Relationships

Why Asking For Forgiveness Is So Important

It's never too late to say sorry.

4275
Why Asking For Forgiveness Is So Important
pinterest

We all have those times where we sit and reflect on our lives thus far and sometimes we're reminded of the ugly things we've done. You think to yourself, "wow, I can't believe I actually said/did that to so and so, that was really mean. I would never do that now." Then you may start to feel remorse and want to reach out to someone who you hurt like six years ago. But then you think that might be weird so you just tell yourself to learn from it and never be so mean again.

I had one of these moments the other day and I realized that I've done some pretty crappy things over the years. Even though I am considered a very kind person-- because I am and I put in effort to always be kind and caring-- there have been times when I wasn't so kind. When I started thinking about things I've said and done I became really disappointed in myself. Now, I try to make it a point to never regret anything in my life and learn from all my experiences, but if I could go back in time I would definitely do some things differently.

While having this moment, I realized that I'm at a point in my life where I'm doing a lot of growing. I've come to realize that you can't grow until you let go. As I've said before letting go is never an easy thing to do. So how do you let go and move on from past mistakes? How do you get rid of the guilty feeling you feel deep inside?

For me letting go means apologizing, asking for forgiveness from the person I hurt, and last but not least forgiving myself.

Apologizing

Apologizing can be really hard sometimes. You can't find the words to say or you just can't bring yourself to say them. But apologizing is the first step to letting go. If you're struggling with what to say: sit back and think about the incident for a few minutes; while you do this let yourself feel all the emotions the memory brings up. Reflect on those emotions and own them. Use them to give you the fuel you need to apologize, because a sincere apology is always the best kind.

Too often, when I was younger, I would let my emotions get the best of me and use words that I didn't really mean. I once told my ex-boyfriend, we had a bad break-up, that it was a good thing his mother wasn't here to see how he was acting because she would be ashamed-- his mom passed when he was a kid-- so yeah that was really harsh. Although, sending a video of him and his new girlfriend burning my picture, that still doesn't justify what I said. I apologized more times than I could count, but looking back I really didn't feel that bad about what I had said because I was hurting. Now, I feel horrible and realize the magnitude of those words and I am so terribly sorry that I ever let them appear on his screen.

Asking for forgiveness

The next step is to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is key to letting go, because it lets you know that the person you hurt realizes that you messed up and you learned from your mistake. So here I am asking for forgiveness.

I am ashamed of how I handled that breakup. He was my "first love" -- well at least the closest thing I've ever experienced to love-- so when we broke up I just didn't want to accept it and I acted crazy. I can say that I wish I would have handled things better and I am sorry for everything I did after that break-up and if I could take it all back I would. You broke me and my heart and it took me a long time to recover, but I am thankful for what we had and I'm glad that it was with you. I'm sorry if I hurt you too and I hope you can forgive me.

Perhaps the worst thing I ever did was pursue someone else's boyfriend -- this honestly may be the one thing that I actually do regret doing and it is something I will never do again. The boy was someone I had dated before and someone who had always been around. He was someone I was really never ready to let go of. I liked the idea of he and I and wasn't planning on giving up on that, so I didn't. Dear, I'm sorry that I didn't respect you as a fellow female. I'm sorry I didn't respect your relationship and that I thought what I was doing was OK. I'm sorry that I caused you pain. Can you forgive me?

The tricky thing about forgiveness is that sometimes you don't get it. So how do you move on when you know the person you hurt is still harboring negative feelings towards you? You just have to remind yourself that you messed up. You can't get mad at them for not forgiving you, that will only make things worse. Take a second and put yourself in their shoes; try to feel what you imagine they feel. Don't get discouraged and just remember that it may take them some time to forgive and start working on forgiving yourself.

Forgiving yourself

This is probably the most important thing. You have to be able to forgive yourself in order to let go and move on. We often get too caught up on how others feel towards us that we forget to think about how we feel about ourselves. We have to let ourselves feel things out. Reflect on the situation and how it makes you feel and embrace those feelings. When you're ready tell yourself that you know what you did was wrong and you didn't like the consequences; so now you know not to make that mistake again.

When you get to the point where you can forgive yourself, this means that you are growing, because you are able to reflect and realize your mistakes. When you forgive yourself you end up lifting a weight off your shoulders. It stops you from beating yourself up about things you can't change. From personal experience, I know that beating yourself up is not a healthy thing to do.

I hope this article inspires you to apologize and ask for forgiveness from the person you hurt, and to also forgive yourself.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
How to Use Your Passion for Writing to Complete Academic Essays

Academic paper writing is often considered one of the most dreaded parts of college for students. Most people hate it, even if they are into writing in general. Many students feel like it puts them into a box where no creative expression is possible. Like having to use a more formal tone of voice and thinking about referencing restricts one’s flow of thought.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How Long Would It Take To Mine A Bitcoin?

No one will give you the correct answer to this question because there are a lot of details that they need to know. But, you can roughly estimate it based on the equipment you have a few more factors. One thing that needs to be mentioned is that mining has changed a lot over the years.

53127
Mine A Bitcoin

they need to know. But, you can roughly estimate it based on the equipment you have a few more factors. One thing that needs to be mentioned is that mining has changed a lot over the years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

5 Cakes You Need to Try This Winter

Spending the winter trying different cakes can be a great way to combat seasonal depression. Lift the spirits of your entire family by trying these five cakes.

53906
Try This Winter

The winter can be a dull time spent indoors with very little change. But, it doesn't have to be that way. There are plenty of ways to spice up your daily routine, and dessert is one of them.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

5 Reasons to Consider a Career as a Defense Lawyer

Lawyers are supposed to be unbiased. Lawyers are trained to look at both sides of an issue and give equal weight to each side. It is meant to be their mantra, "My client is innocent until proven guilty."

118035
Career as a Defense Lawyer

Lawyers are supposed to be unbiased. Lawyers are trained to look at both sides of an issue and give equal weight to each side. It is meant to be their mantra, "My client is innocent until proven guilty." But if you're thinking about becoming a defense attorney, it's not this pretty simple. Defense lawyers argue that their clients are innocent because they don't want their actions to seem suspect in any way. They essentially say for the sake of the argument itself. If you're trying to decide whether or not becoming a defense attorney is something you would like to do, here are five reasons why it's worth considering:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

What Everyone Should Know About Online Degrees

Nowadays, many working adults, high school graduates, and retired lifelong learners are choosing to advance their careers, lives, and personal knowledge by completing school at home.

210191
Online Degrees

The rising popularity of online college and graduate school degrees has completely changed the face of education and student life. It's no longer necessary to pack up all your belongings and head off to a distant locale in order to earn a diploma. Nowadays, many working adults, high school graduates, and retired lifelong learners are choosing to advance their careers, lives, and personal knowledge by completing school at home.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments