Why Asking For Forgiveness Is So Important

Why Asking For Forgiveness Is So Important

It's never too late to say sorry.
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We all have those times where we sit and reflect on our lives thus far and sometimes we're reminded of the ugly things we've done. You think to yourself, "wow, I can't believe I actually said/did that to so and so, that was really mean. I would never do that now." Then you may start to feel remorse and want to reach out to someone who you hurt like six years ago. But then you think that might be weird so you just tell yourself to learn from it and never be so mean again.

I had one of these moments the other day and I realized that I've done some pretty crappy things over the years. Even though I am considered a very kind person-- because I am and I put in effort to always be kind and caring-- there have been times when I wasn't so kind. When I started thinking about things I've said and done I became really disappointed in myself. Now, I try to make it a point to never regret anything in my life and learn from all my experiences, but if I could go back in time I would definitely do some things differently.

While having this moment, I realized that I'm at a point in my life where I'm doing a lot of growing. I've come to realize that you can't grow until you let go. As I've said before letting go is never an easy thing to do. So how do you let go and move on from past mistakes? How do you get rid of the guilty feeling you feel deep inside?

For me letting go means apologizing, asking for forgiveness from the person I hurt, and last but not least forgiving myself.

Apologizing

Apologizing can be really hard sometimes. You can't find the words to say or you just can't bring yourself to say them. But apologizing is the first step to letting go. If you're struggling with what to say: sit back and think about the incident for a few minutes; while you do this let yourself feel all the emotions the memory brings up. Reflect on those emotions and own them. Use them to give you the fuel you need to apologize, because a sincere apology is always the best kind.

Too often, when I was younger, I would let my emotions get the best of me and use words that I didn't really mean. I once told my ex-boyfriend, we had a bad break-up, that it was a good thing his mother wasn't here to see how he was acting because she would be ashamed-- his mom passed when he was a kid-- so yeah that was really harsh. Although, sending a video of him and his new girlfriend burning my picture, that still doesn't justify what I said. I apologized more times than I could count, but looking back I really didn't feel that bad about what I had said because I was hurting. Now, I feel horrible and realize the magnitude of those words and I am so terribly sorry that I ever let them appear on his screen.

Asking for forgiveness

The next step is to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is key to letting go, because it lets you know that the person you hurt realizes that you messed up and you learned from your mistake. So here I am asking for forgiveness.

I am ashamed of how I handled that breakup. He was my "first love" -- well at least the closest thing I've ever experienced to love-- so when we broke up I just didn't want to accept it and I acted crazy. I can say that I wish I would have handled things better and I am sorry for everything I did after that break-up and if I could take it all back I would. You broke me and my heart and it took me a long time to recover, but I am thankful for what we had and I'm glad that it was with you. I'm sorry if I hurt you too and I hope you can forgive me.

Perhaps the worst thing I ever did was pursue someone else's boyfriend -- this honestly may be the one thing that I actually do regret doing and it is something I will never do again. The boy was someone I had dated before and someone who had always been around. He was someone I was really never ready to let go of. I liked the idea of he and I and wasn't planning on giving up on that, so I didn't. Dear, I'm sorry that I didn't respect you as a fellow female. I'm sorry I didn't respect your relationship and that I thought what I was doing was OK. I'm sorry that I caused you pain. Can you forgive me?

The tricky thing about forgiveness is that sometimes you don't get it. So how do you move on when you know the person you hurt is still harboring negative feelings towards you? You just have to remind yourself that you messed up. You can't get mad at them for not forgiving you, that will only make things worse. Take a second and put yourself in their shoes; try to feel what you imagine they feel. Don't get discouraged and just remember that it may take them some time to forgive and start working on forgiving yourself.

Forgiving yourself

This is probably the most important thing. You have to be able to forgive yourself in order to let go and move on. We often get too caught up on how others feel towards us that we forget to think about how we feel about ourselves. We have to let ourselves feel things out. Reflect on the situation and how it makes you feel and embrace those feelings. When you're ready tell yourself that you know what you did was wrong and you didn't like the consequences; so now you know not to make that mistake again.

When you get to the point where you can forgive yourself, this means that you are growing, because you are able to reflect and realize your mistakes. When you forgive yourself you end up lifting a weight off your shoulders. It stops you from beating yourself up about things you can't change. From personal experience, I know that beating yourself up is not a healthy thing to do.

I hope this article inspires you to apologize and ask for forgiveness from the person you hurt, and to also forgive yourself.

Cover Image Credit: pinterest

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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If You THINK You're Too Dependent On Your Boyfriend, You Probably Are

Depend on yourself before you depend on him.

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Don't get me wrong, having a boyfriend and being in love is an incredible feeling. But when you depend on your boyfriend for everything and forget how to do things on your own, it becomes a major problem. You might not see it but your family and friends do. Yes he's your boyfriend and of course, you want to spend every single second with him but you can't carry him around in the back of your pocket for the rest of your life. So here's to the girls who are too dependent on your boyfriends, I think you girls might want to hear this.

First and foremost, I completely understand what it's like to be in love and want to spend every second with your boyfriend. I get that he is one of your best friends, one of the people you can trust the most, one of the sources of your happiness, one of your stress relievers, one of the things that brings you comfort, one of the people you can rant to for anything, one of the people that you can cry to about anything, one of the people that you want to make memories with, one of the people that you want to spend the rest of your life with and so much more.

Did you notice I said one of, for all that? He is just one of the people you can go to for all of that, not the only one. You have friends and family who can do all of that too. And trust me, we want to. While yes you might prefer him to those other people, it's still important to keep your friends and family in the loop of what's going on in your life and it's even more important just to keep them in your life.

When you choose your boyfriend over your friends and family for everything, you're slowly pushing them out of your life. I, and everyone else who's been where I have been, completely understand if you already have plans with your boyfriend, or if something is going on you want to spend time with him. But to blow off your friends every single time for him is a slap in the face to us. Or to invite him to everything we do is another slap in the face. Of course as friends and family, we want to spend time with your boyfriend but it gets awkward third wheeling.

Go out with your family and friends without him sometimes and make tons of memories, as you did before. Rant and cry to friends and family sometimes instead, we care about you and your feelings, just as much as he does... maybe, even more, when you guys are fighting. When you don't talk to or see your friends and family without him there, you're pretty much telling us that you don't like being around us and that by bringing him, it makes it more bearable for you.

With that being said, you have to let him do the same. You have to let him have time for his family and friends without you. It looks super weird that you follow him around like a lost little puppy dog. Let him have time with the guys, without you being there or showing up at some point. To tag along to every little thing he does isn't healthy. Tagging along to everything thing your boyfriend does, probably makes his friends, a little uncomfortable, especially when they want their guy time and you're the only girl and they don't want you to feel awkward or left out. Or his family wants to spend time with just him and catch up.

Do things apart from each other, so when you are together you have stories to tell and pictures to show them.

Speaking of doing things apart from each other. Don't let an amazing opportunity slip away because you have to spend time away from your boyfriend. Did I leave my boyfriend to do the Disney College Program, hell yes I did. Am I going to apply again in August or maybe January? Hell yes, I am. Don't be afraid to explore things without him, even if it makes you uncomfortable, because you never know when you might get a great opportunity again.

Learning to do things alone is scary, I get it. But don't base your schedule around his, I've seen so many girls do this and it just back fries in the end. Unless you have kids, you do not plan your schedules around him or know where he is at every single second.

You never know, one day he might not be there anymore, and if you're always with your boyfriend and forgetting about friends and family, you might not have them either. And then what? Who do you depend on?

I wish you all would learn to depend on yourself before you depend completely on your boyfriend for everything. You are capable of so many things alone. You might feel like your boyfriend completes you and makes you whole, but in reality, you were already complete without him. He's just an added bonus. Don't give up your friends, family, and life because you want to be attached at the hip. You might lose more than you gain by doing that.

This goes for couples who have been dating for all lengths of time. It could be six months or six years.

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