If You Want A Lasting Relationship, Don't Sweep Things Under The Rug
Start writing a post

If You Want A Lasting Relationship, Don't Sweep Things Under The Rug

Not saying anything could lead to the end of your relationship.

If You Want A Lasting Relationship, Don't Sweep Things Under The Rug
Pablo Heimplatz

Imagine this: A young girl falls in love.

This isn’t a hard thing to imagine at all, is it? The girl could be anyone. It could be me, you, your friend from work or school, or the girl who always sits on the other side of the coffee shop, staring out the window instead of doing her homework. She is in the honeymoon phase, excitedly talking to anyone who will listen about her new partner and how much she likes him or her. This girl goes on dates with her partner, makes dinner with them, and falls asleep on her partner’s chest to the sound of their heartbeat. Relationships start out so comfortable.

It’s possible, though, that there’s something fundamentally wrong here.

Fast forward a few months, and things still seem the same on the outside—something isn’t right, though. Not on the inside. The girl had an argument with her partner a few days ago and was really hurt by some of the things that were said. The argument could have been anything. Maybe she forgot to get the milk at the grocery store, or maybe she asked a question that offended her partner. Whatever it was, after the argument, the girl wanted to drop it. She didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and neither did her partner. So, she doesn’t. She doesn’t bring it up again, and neither does her partner.

Then the same thing happens again. The girl is hurt by another thing her partner says or does but doesn’t want to bring it up again. Maybe she’s afraid her partner is going to get mad or that she’s just overthinking things. Maybe she’s being selfless by not saying anything—her partner is very busy, stressed, or is already dealing with other problems, and she doesn’t want to make anything worse. Instead, she says that she’s fine, even when her partner knows that she isn’t.

But the thing is, by not saying anything, a dangerous pattern begins to form. And that pattern could lead to the end of a relationship.

This girl was written to be vague, specifically because it happens to so many people. It’s happened to co-workers, to friends, to me, and maybe even to you. Relationships start out wonderful because people are oftentimes just getting to really know each other. There is a constant communication of new ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. But as people get to know each other more, or get into the swing of a relationship, that communication greatly diminishes. We automatically assume that our partner should know how we think or feel. But we shouldn’t.

The reality is this: We’re all human.

None of us are perfect, and none of us can read each other’s thoughts. We see our partner in pain and yes, we want to fix it. But if our partner simply veils their problems behind a “no really, I’m okay,” then we can’t do anything to help lessen that pain. Or maybe it’s the other way. When we’re hurt by something our partner says or does, then we can’t let ourselves shut down. Instead of dropping it or leaving it alone, we need to gently explain that we were hurt and offended by what the other has said or done.

The cliché statement, “communication is key,” comes to mind when I think of these situations. Because it might be cliché, but it’s certainly also true. If we want to have a long-lasting, healthy relationship, then we need to communicate with our partners. Otherwise, we develop an unconscious habit in which we believe, whether we notice or not, that it’s okay to hide things from one another. That’s automatically a problem, and if it goes unchecked, then it can lead to a long struggle with trustworthiness, hurt, and dishonesty with your partner.

So, do both you and your partner a favor: communicate. Talk to one another frequently about what you can do to improve your relationship; about how you can be kind to one another; about what’s hurting you or giving you problems. Be gentle, but honest, and don’t hold back. Relationships are hard work, and this might be the hardest part about them. But they’re worth it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

The Boyfriends Of The 2000s

Thank you, J14, for the Posters

J14 magazine

Every girl remembers her first crush. Even if your first crush was the boy in your kindergarten class that ate crayons, your first true love will always be the one that holds the key to your heart. Growing up in the 2000s, everyone knew who your dream guy was. Your family probably still give you grief and your best friends probably still reminisce, so it is impossible to forget your first celebrity crush. You bought a Tiger Beat magazine every chance you could just to read up about what your favorite celebrity was doing. Your room was fully decorated with posters of them, and it wasn't unusual to have fights with your best friends over who was going to marry him. If you were a 90's baby, lucky you because the 2000s were full of boys that were easy to love. I hope you enjoy a walk down memory lane and quickly realize that Bieber was definitely not the first guy with that hair cut. Here are 15 90's baby's first boyfriends.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

20 Things I Learned By The Start of My 20s

No one expects you to have your life together by the time you're 20, because honestly, they didn't either.

Allyson Foutty

We are all often faced with many life challenges throughout the time leading up to our 20s. Before this time, and throughout it, we often look back at the things we've learned and how they've influenced who we are as people today. Some of my biggest influences were some of the challenges I've faced, but they've taught me 20 important things by the start of my 20s.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Boyfriend Recipe

The ingredients to build a relationship are a little more complicated than just a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy.


Relationships. Long distance or not, significant others are much more than just that. I would be lying if I said I did not love the sweet gestures that only a boyfriend can give. The flowers, funny phone calls, hand holding, breakfast dates, and tight hugs are special but my relationship and many others out there exist on much more than just these little gestures. It is a tricky concoction that consists of one part boyfriend and two parts best friend and would not work without one part or the other. While having a relationship may not be quite as easy as baking a batch of cookies, it has its own recipe (with a few variations for flavor) to follow for a good match.

Keep Reading... Show less
google images

Fashion just keeps growing and changing and old trends are made new! Now, I'm no beauty guru, just a beauty guru wannabe, but personally I have compiled some stylish wardrobe must haves! These can be cute assets to go back to school or just to catch up on some of the latest trends...

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

There's More To A Relationship Than Netflix

Summertime is only 93 days of the year, Find something to do!

Tallie Ammar

Summertime is ideal for more than just hanging out and binging your favorite TV series with your friends. Although summer does bring rain and thunderstorms which is perfect for those binging days, take advantage of those nice and sunny days. There is so many opportunities to get out of the house and enjoy the season before the snow starts to come back. Here are 25 interesting dates that are doable almost anywhere for any age.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments