Mary Gonzalez, a fellow writer for the Odyssey recently published an article titled "Ladies, Sliding Into His DMs Is NOT Going To Make Him Want You More," and I was so annoyed by what I read I couldn't help but laugh. Here's my response, as a manly "hunter" of women.
The article starts strong, with Gonzalez claiming that the "purpose" of men was to hunt, and we men crave "the hunt." This claim holds water, as both biology and history show us that men want to create and consume and build. There's a sense that we need to fight for what we want, and that we derive purpose from this struggle. The act and process of wanting it is the reason to do it at all. Oftentimes, that very struggle is more satisfying than the achievement itself.
However, the dynamics between men and women do not quite work this way. At the basis of interactions between men and women, there's an underlying economy that takes place. In order for both parties to be satisfied, the man and woman must be in agreement that the mutual value they bring each other is equal.
Gonzalez's article elaborates that the thrill of the chase is what makes someone valuable. I disagree. As any attractive person knows, you won't be satisfied with just anyone. Even though there are people vying for your attention, you are selective and intentional about who you indulge. A valuable man is the same way, often talking to several girls and getting attention and validation from a variety of sources.
So, to think that the man should exclusively and relentless chase you, is flawed, and will leave you single. A valuable man knows that if the girl plays games, he can turn around and find someone else, someone who will actually value him back, instead of "making him chase," like an elementary schooler playing tag at recess. By playing by these "rules" of how long to wait for x and y and how to not give anything away about yourself until the 5th date or whatever, is setting yourself up for failure.
If the man is truly valuable, which, if you want him, he probably is, you as a valuable woman will see his value and will make moves to engage or attract him. Being aloof and "hard to get" is usually not the way to win the affections of a man. More often than not, these men end up too bored to play childish games of "who wants who more" and instead move on to women who won't string them along to stroke their own ego.
Of course, I am not implying that you are "easy" or need to be. Hold to your standards and test him to make sure this is someone who deserves your time and attention and affections. If and when he fails to bring you the value you know you are bringing him, kick him to the curb. However, this outdated idea that a woman's value is derived from how difficult she is to attain will ensure that you are single.
It's 2019. See someone you like? Send them a message! It doesn't mean you're desperate or easy, it's a compliment to the guy you message that a pretty girl like you would want to do that anyway, and that compliment can go a long way.
