Dear Beautiful Women,
How are you? ...Wait, before you answer this question, try answering this honestly and selfishly: Are you okay? I know this person needs help with their homework and you are worried about this other person and how they are dealing with tough transitions but how about you? Tired, sad, happy to have great people around you? Worried or stressed? All the above? Rightfully so.
I've been watching you recently and noticed how your voice doesn't sing as high as it does in summer when you say hello. I've noticed that by eight p.m. you want to be curled up in bed but know you can't fall asleep. Mind racing, heart aching, you worry for all of your daughters and mothers that love you. I've noticed that you are not going to your usual work-out class and you are eating food for convenience rather than taste. I've noticed you being tired. Wanna go to bed?
No. That seems to be the common answer when you ask yourself a self-love question. You want to do it all. You want to be there for them all. You want to handle it all by yourself. And you know what? You can do it all by yourself. You are so much more than capable and you could help all the people on your list but you don't have to.
You don't have to put everyone else before yourself. The people who are at your door can be turned away after a supportive hug and they will find someone else or even help themselves. Don't think by not helping them you are a bad friend. Don't be scared that if you don't help this person at that certain time that you will lose something. These people will still love you and you will still love them. You will be a better friend to them later if you take care of yourself now.
You don't have to do this all on your own either. You can ask for help. You have a plethora of people who you can talk to who may know more or have a new perspective. People that may have dealt with similar things of their own. People that may not have a list of things to do written feverishly on a post-it next to their bed. Take a breath and look around.
But of course, you know this all. You know how to breathe when you feel the oxygen being sucked away from you. You know how to love yourself. You know this because this is what you tell me. This is what you tell the people asking for help. "Take it a little at a time and deal with things as they come." "Go to bed and tackle it tomorrow." "Everything is going to be alright."
You are a force of kindness and love. You are the ground the supports my roots, but there are cracks to your earth. Cracks that weave and dodge. Cracks in which flowers grow.
Now, I'll be home soon and for now, you can sleep,
Goodnight. I love you.
