Before my high school graduation, I was introduced to a song for the first time. Since that day, nearly 6 years ago, I think back to it from time to time and the lessons it taught me. No matter where my life has led me, I'm reminded of the lyrics and remind myself of the lessons I have learned. I think back to the person I was when I graduated high school and am truly astonished at the person I have become. The following is a compilation of some of my favorite pieces of life advice from Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen).
Do not worry about the future.
Worrying is almost a natural response to most situations. We worry about what people will say about us. We worry about what we are going to wear. We worry about everything, but when you really take the time to think about it, what's the point in worrying? It does us no good. It only robs of us our joy. It stops us from enjoying the season we are in. No matter how much we worry, whatever is meant to happen is going to happen. It's no like if we worry enough, life will decide to change its course of action. Enjoy where you are and trust that life will take you where you are meant to be. No amount of worrying will change that.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
For a while, this was my mantra. Everyday I would wake up and tell myself to do something that scared me. Some days they were huge things, some days they were little things, but to me, they were everything. Then when I would go to sleep at night, I'd ask myself, "what did I do today that scared me?" and then I'd tell myself that since I accomplished it today, I couldn't be scared of it tomorrow. Some days it would be talking to that boy I couldn't stop thinking about. Some days it would simply be trying a new workout. The thing with conquering a fear is that once you do, it's no longer a fear and the next time you face it, you can do so confidently.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
T.H. White said: Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return. We have all been there. We have given our heart to someone who could truthfully care less about us. Despite all of the signs, we have fallen head over heels for them, only to have our hearts crushed. We know how it feels when someone is reckless with our hearts. When someone gives you their heart, take care of it. Also, when you give your heart to someone else and they aren't taking care of it, you have every right to take it back and wait for the one who will guard your heart with their life. Don't be reckless and don't put up with recklessness.
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.
We are our own worst critic. No one will ever judge us as much as we judge ourselves. The journey is long, but really, the only ones we are racing is ourselves. We all have a plan for our lives. We want to be engaged by 24, married by 26 and have kids by 28. We want to have grandkids by our 50s. We want to retire at 60. We have those timelines and we are constantly competing with ourselves. No one else cares how old we are when we get married or when we start to have kids, yet we constantly compete with the timeline we have in our mind. We are literally racing ourselves. Life happens, whether we are ready or not. Set goals for yourself: get married, have kids, etc. Forget about your timeline. Fate rarely follows our timeline.
Keep your old love letters.
We have all been there. We experience the "worst" breakup of our lives and we vow to burn everything we ever received from our new ex. Don't. It's hard to believe now, but one day you'll be sitting down with your children talking about your dating past and you'll wish you had those love letters, not because you miss the person writing them, but because you'll miss that time. You'll miss those first dates and you'll miss young love. They are a reminder of a time in your life that you will never be able to return to.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
We get too bogged down in the idea that we have to decide by the time we are 18 what we want to spend the next 40-50 years of our lives doing. Society tells us that we have to have it all figured out by the time you start college. The truth is, that's a ridiculous concept. Truthfully, some people do know and kudos to them. Some people know exactly how they want to spend their lives, but others need a little more time and thats okay. Even if you think you know, you're not required to stick with it forever. Go with the flow. In time you will find where your passions lie. Try different things, take classes that have nothing to do with your major. You will never find where your passions truly lie until you give yourself the opportunity to see what's out there.
Be kind to your knees.
Seriously though. Be kind to yourself. Exercise. Try to eat well. Take care of yourself. By no means am I saying spend your every spare moment in the gym or monitor every meal's macros and micros, but treat yourself well. These are the only bodies we will get so we have to make them last.
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Don't get me wrong, I love looking at celebrities and admiring their beauty, but the truth is, they are celebrities for a reason. They have professional hair stylists and make up artists. I like to think that if I had a crew of people helping me get ready every morning, I could pull of the celeb look too, but the truth is, most of my clothes I buy from Ross and my make up costs less than $20, but that doesn't make me any less beautiful. Comparing yourself to others gets you absolutely nowhere. Love the skin you are in and own it. You are beautifully made and you truly are more beautiful than you will ever realize. Love yourself.
Get to know your parents.
The older I get, the more I love and respect my parents. Also, the older I have gotten, the more stories they have revealed to me about themselves and I have come to realize that they really weren't as uncool or embarrassing as I always they thought they were. I have come to learn their struggles and the sacrifices they have made for me. I have come to respect them for decisions they have made and I have truly come to view them less as parents, but more as friends. I am finding myself more able to talk to them about things and not worry about how much trouble I will get in or if I'll end up being punished. I have learned so much about their past and their lives that it truly amazes me to think that they are the same people that I had so much angst towards only a few short years ago. Honestly, I frequently find myself thinking, "when did my parents become so cool."
Be nice to your siblings.
Friends come and go, but your siblings truly are the only one's who have known you since day one. They were with you through all of those awkward phases. They shared the bathroom with you, sometimes while one of you was peeing and one was showering. They stole your clothes and comforted you after you and your first boyfriend broke up. They helped you get ready for your first date and covered for you when you were doing something you weren't supposed to. They were your built in best friends and the truth is, they are the only link to your past. They are the only ones who can truly relate to your childhood.
Understand that friends come and go.
It's an unfortunate and hard fact of life. Sometimes the people who we swore would be with us through everything, make an early exit from our life. That doesn't mean anyone did anything wrong or anyone is to blame, but more so, they served whatever purpose they were meant to serve in your life. They taught you what ever you were meant to learn or you helped them in whatever way they needed to be helped. Every person you meet through life's journey, serves a purpose. They all have a reason for being in your life. We cannot lament over lost friends, but rather rejoice that we got to share our life with them for a period of time and hope that life finds them well.
Travel.
I cannot reiterate this enough. Of all I have done in my life, traveling has been what has bought my soul to life. I have found myself in the most incredible places and the most incredible situations. I have met amazing people and have seen so many beautiful places. Nothing brings my soul to life like traveling. No matter how busy you are, find time to travel. Even if it is right down the street, make a point of going to different places. Experience knew cultures. Try new food. Go to places you can't pronounce. Book that last minute vacation. The world is so big and there are so many places to experience. Take advantage of it. You honestly won't regret it.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
You can't rely on anyone to sustain your way of life. You need to make your own money and be able to support yourself. You never know when someone may pass away or leave you. If you fully rely on someone to provide for you, then you will absolutely find yourself on hard times if they ever exit from your life. You need to find a way to make a living and provide for yourself. One thing my mom always told us growing up was to make your own money and be able to financially provide for yourself because you never know when you may find yourself on your own.
Be careful who's advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
When people give you advice, be patient. They only have your best intentions at heart. Even if it isn't what you want to hear, thank them for taking the time to give you advice, but in the same breath, be careful who you talk advice from. Not everyone's advice you are meant to listen to. Consider your source before you follow through with what they are advising you to do. Be thankful, but cautious.
Life can be tricky. If someone would have told me on the day of my high school graduation, the people I'd meet, the friends I'd say goodbye to, the places I'd travel to, the jobs I'd have or the experiences I'd have, I probably would have been like I'm sorry you have the wrong person. Life can be a crazy ride with unexpected twists and turns. You never know when the next heartbreak will happen or when the next miracle will occur, but you have to allow yourself to be open to it. Let life take you where you are meant to be.
For the high school graduates and college graduates, trust the process. It might seem confusing a lot of the time, but when you truly give yourself over to the mercy of the universe, you will find yourself in absolutely incredible situations surrounded by unforgettable people. You will be amazed where life will take you as long as you allow yourself to be molded. It is a crazy ride. I wish you all the luck.
